Monday, 30 December 2013

When Sweets Thrill But Bitter is Better

Ever wondered why all the sweet tasting stuff you love are what will make you fat, rot away your teeth, damage your liver, make your skin break out in spots and generally reduce the quality of your human body?

I think about it all the time. Don't tell me about moderation, how many fields of bitter leaf do you think you would need to consume before it has an adverse effect on your body.......While you are calculating that, how much chocolate is too much chocolate? Bet that doesn't need any thinking.

It just isn't right I tell you.

The world is a funny place. You would think it's all those goodies that your body needs that will get packaged right and sold to you but NO. It's those delicious killers that get all the attention. Chocolates have the most beautiful of wrappers. Fries with spicy wings and a chilled extra large coke are served to befriend your spirit not just kill your hunger. Most times you start craving these things, it isn't hunger pangs causing it. Ever seen carrots and greens sold or served in a way that causes you to dream of them later?

Something is wrong I tell you.

And while the world screams about healthy living and obsesity, meals get larger and larger and drinks get bigger and even more sugary. One day i might just see a gallon coke bottle, or a pack of chips bigger than 2 feet. When people talk about moderation, do they serve you those sizes in the hope that you will go share it with some hungry dude down the road? Or throw the left overs in the bin so that mangy stray dog gets a bite to eat?

Moving on to conspiracy theories.

Look closely you might find the same companies that own the food places own the gymnasiums and the gym equipment factories and the TV stations that keep dishing out series after series every hour all day and the pharmaceutical companies doling out magic pills to help loose weight remove stretch marks cure loneliness remove excess sugar and salt from your system and make you feel better about yourself.

Like moth to flame we know and yet.

George Orwell's 1984 becomes more and more the book of a man who saw the future more than that of a man who predicted the way the future would play out.

Sunday, 29 December 2013

New Year Resolutions

Think about it for a moment how many times have you spent the end of a year planning on becoming a better person improving yourself in the new year and by the the fourth week of the new year you are frustrated at your lack of improvement and back to being the same old you from the other year?

Easy is as easy does. Try setting yourself no more than three goals this time around and make sure moving from a size 22 to a size 10 is not one of them.....it is doable but these are targets that lead to frustration. Stay with simple, few changes, a day at a time and no deadlines.

Savings are what we all want to do but hardly ever get around to doing. The 'piggy to bank' savings style might be childish but actually helps you save up a bit. This is where you put away a part of every cash that goes through your hands into a piggy bank (say 10%) and at the end of each month you break the piggy bank and transfer your savings into your bank savings account (one opened specifically for saving towards certain projects). If you have ever written down a list of the monies you actually spend in a month as compared to your take home pay you will realise the viability of this method. Note, piggy banks are as big as you need them to be :-D

Giving is a big feel good act. When you give you feel a great sense of purpose and communion. Make it a point of duty to give to people in the New Year. It doesn't have to be only financially you can give your time help out in different ways and places.  Pick a poor kid nearby and pay to have the kid in school. Visit an old people's home and help out for a day. Buy a ball for street kids around so they can stop kicking the over patched ball of polythene and cloth pieces. Give out that extra car to the family down the road. The good thing about giving is its immediate feel good effect, if you do it once you will do it twice and then again. The one thing to watch out for when giving is expecting gratitude from everyone. Allow the feeling of being able to help be your reward or you might end up not sure you should have given.

Aim to live healthier. Don't set any crash courses concerning your weight or eating habits....those targets die naturally deaths before January is done. Try to check the kinds of food you eat and the quantity before moving on to weight loss techniques. Exercise is key but starting with movement is even better.  Just move, don't sit around all day. Walk your dog, walk to the store, go walk by the lake, take your kids out, take your friend's,  neighbour's kids to the park, chase after them. Ride a bicycle, go swim, join a fitness group that enjoy each other's company more than rigorous activities. A little at a time, get your body to adjust to changes before you delve into those huge weight loss regimes.

Whatever way you decide to improve yourself in the New Year set baby step goals for yourself then improve on them as you catch on, that way you will still be walking along resolution road by the middle of the year.

HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD EVERYONE ({})

Saturday, 28 December 2013

This Traditions Must Give Way

Have you ever wondered why the dead have to be returned to a village they have never been to or only been there 5 times in their lifetime for a total of 10 days? Ever wondered what the logic behind a couple getting married 4 times via 'introduction, traditional marriage, court registry and white wedding' is? What about why it is the wife's mother who comes to help her with her newborn first born and not the husband's or any other female more capable and in a better position to?

I am African. I love community living and I am quick to remind myself of its numerous benefits when some aspects of it get on my nerves. BUT there are so many traditions we have carried on with and added to those we have acquired from other cultures or via western education that have now become more of a burden than a way of life.

There was a time people got marked on the face and tattooed on the arms and legs as identification. These markings told on first sight where you were from and sometimes offered protection in times of war from certain quarters. People no longer mark their children because there are better ways to identify people now.

There was a time land was never sold but owned by families over generations and even though people travelled far and wide the lands they lived on in their travels wasn't owned and so they could not be buried there if they died there. If they could not be returned home they were buried on lands called "strangers land' which was viewed as not a very good burial. But times have changed people are able to own land in places far away from their original villages, there are public burial places and they are not designated for the 'landless' so why must we continue to spend loads of money and time we can hardly afford in this busy world we live now to take our dead 'home' to bury?

There was a time Marriage involved an introduction- where both families were introduced by the intending couple and each family then went about their investigations to make sure their child was marrying into a good family. After all was researched and concluded the marriage took place. Today we have all become Christians and Muslims and a host of other adopted religions and now term that marriage 'traditional marriage'. It has become a prelude to the religious marriage.  However it does not end there. The religious bodies do not have any legally accepted papers ( don't think that document you sign is worth the paper it is printed on) So you also have a visit to the registry to sign some more papers all for a wedding that became legal at the point you called it traditional marriage under customary law.

There are so many traditions or new ways when added to the old that are very unnecessary but we continue to carry them all along burdening ourselves by ourselves. We can cremate the dead or bury them in the nearest burial ground. We can marry via only one kind of marriage - traditional, religious or court. We can get any capable woman to come help with a newborn. We don't have to go bring a child under 10 from our village as a helper we can employ help old enough. If we think New yam festival is fetish according to the dictates of your religion then we shouldn't bore people with stories of Halloween. If we will replace one concept with another it should be a more logical and helpful one.

The best way to rid ourselves of customs, traditions or ways is to ask WHY. Why are we doing this in this particular way? Because this is how it has always been done as the sole reason is a good reason to seek change. This traditions must give way.


Friday, 27 December 2013

The Very First Hour of Morning

When the first sign of light comes into the sky to chase away the darkness of night, that time when you turn in sleep to an even better position and sleep becomes sweeter. When the weather becomes just right no matter the season and when only happy dreams remain. That my friends is the right time to wake up.

Ask the praying person, ask the reading student, ask those who meditate, exercise,  plan, ask everyone who wakes up at this time to do something. Whatever it is, this the best time for it. This is the time you have clarity of thought and energy, this is before the troubles of the day start. This is the time to wake up and think and make plans and decisions that will rule the day ahead.

The very first hours of the day are like a new lump of clay, still moist, just right to decide what to make of it. It is that point when your refreshed body awakes bustling to get on with the new day with energy and zeal. It is a good time to sit up and meditate on where you are coming from and where you actually want to be. To think things out long before the day starts with too much visual sensory input and impairs your thoughts and outlook.

The decision and direction you give this 'morning meditation' will most likely determine over 50% of what you do and how you react to events during the day. So give it a trial and see....wake up at 5am maybe a little earlier and for one hour just try to plan your day, or read, or pray, or write something down or just meditate on the day ahead and your plan of action concerning it's events. Doesn't have to be anything earth shattering, you can just enjoy the clarity of thought that abounds at that time.

The very first hours of morning just before the hustle and bustle of the day starts,  just when a fully rested and refreshed you awakes, is the time to draw up a course of action that will change the world to your taste :-p


Tuesday, 10 December 2013

What IF



What if there is no life after death. What if death is be all and end all of all.

Ever wondered who you actually are and why you are here? Here exactly and not somewhere else? Wondered why you are black or white or yellow or even purple and not some other colour? What purpose made it right for you to be in Africa and not Australia? Ever wondered why wars kill so many people or why hurricanes come around and sweep away cities? Ever stopped to think how a plane full of people from different countries with different lives, desires, aspirations and beliefs get destined to die in one plane crash?

Do you know how many religions and by extension gods, humans are involved with? Do you think other life forms have this belief systems too? Does the claim to their lower intelligence mean they have no use for gods? what then happens to the aspect of their creation and then their deaths? If animals have no spirits how then are they quicker than us to tell when odd forces pass by? What causes dogs to wail a day before the death of a human close to them?

Think about it. Have you ever inadvertently killed a few hundreds of ants? Maybe intentionally too. What if there was something out there as bigger than us as we are the ants maybe 100 times bigger and more intelligent to the same degree? What if like we treat much smaller animals say fish for example they decide for food sake or even boredom to harvest a few hundred thousands of us? what if they feed on life force instead of our flesh?

What if we were all created with a certain time frame destined to expire at a set time and in a particular way? What if we had no such restrictions and had being created to live out this lives as we please, smoke if we want, die of cancer of the lungs or of old age. What if we had been put here with absolute free will with Nature as our Guide and as our Corrector?

What if there was life after death? What kind life would it be? What if it lasted for ever this new life? What activity do you see yourself doing for eternity? What if however there was no life after death? What then would be the purpose of this life? Would both good and evil people come to the same end? What constitutes good or evil?


What if I knew the answers to all this? :-D


Let me tell you.......the life you have you know, live it the best you can, for you and for those around you. Let the next life carry its own burden.



Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Fairy Tales That Fade Into The Night

Everyone dreams of fairy tales I know I once did. Of a little sky blue and gray house with a cashew tree at the backyard, a white picket fence, a big netted veranda to sit out on hot days, a big tall husband and three kids.

When I was 13 I fell in love, at first sight too. I had spent hours upon hours of days and nights between 11 and 17 years reading hundreds of Mills&Boon and other such romance stories. I had always been an avid reader and read books even when I could not fathom what they were talking about. I read 'The Canterbury Tales' for the first time when I was 9 or 10 years, couldn't understand the language or the jokes but read it to the end.

But when I was 13 Mills&Boon were still about virgins falling in love and getting all giddy and excited about tall dark handsome men for no reason they could fathom. And so I fell in love with this tall handsome dark man a bit older than me just like it happened in my books and for the first time books became my secondary focus. He had taken the number one spot. I dreamt him, thought him and saw him even when my eyes were closed. I dreamt of the sky blue and gray house, of our kids who would be tall like him and the cashew tree behind the house, of the good wife I would be and how all that was needed was for me to turn 18.

18 was the magic age, the year all heroines in Mills&Boon became women but it was a disturbingly very distant age then for me. I always dreamt I woke up and I was 18 and he was proposing but I woke up 14 and after a year of dreaming I was only just 15. While I dreamt, my Dad however wasn't dreaming, he had noticed the foolish look I got on my face everytime prince charming walked by and I later found out he had been 'verily' warned that I might be young and foolish but he most certainly wasn't and would be held accountable.

By the time I turned 16 Mills&Boon had completely changed and the stories had turned half porn where strangers had sex before they knew each other's names - the era of the Temptation series - and I too had moved on to Pacesetters, Chase, Sidney Sheldon, Jeffrey Archer and a host of others and my reading list was no longer stream lined towards romance and I seemed to have fallen out of love too. It was sad. I was actually genuinely happy when I loved him even though everyone said it was infatuation. It had been 3 happy years of following him around like a shadow, dreaming happy dreams of kisses that made your knees weak, of love making that showed you a whole new world of unbelievable sights sounds and sensations. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had actually been 18 then.

The anguish of lives not lived.

As I changed reading lists I think my outlook on life too changed and my ability to see only the very best in people slowly eroded. My fantasies  took on a darker hue and the fairy tales blended with the night to become a picture almost not there.


When I was 13 I fell in love at first sight for the first time....I am beginning to believe it happens only once in a life time.



Butterflies and a Life Lesson


Where have all the butterflies gone? I haven't seen one in ages in fact I had almost forgotten about butterflies until I was watching 'the butterfly effect' and it dawned on me that I have almost forgotten what butterflies look like even.

When I was much younger butterflies were everywhere especially those large green and yellow ones. Enough for everyone to chase and catch and imprison for a while too. Butterflies taught me about helplessness and being small enough to be at the mercy of other beings, long long ago, way before candy stopped curing every pain, way before Bruce Willis lost all his hair and stopped Moonlighting.

I once caught a butterfly and put it in a glass jar and screwed on the lid and sat there watching it flap around in the jar, I didn't think about the lack of air or the enclosed feeling I just loved the fact that for a while I owned the butterfly and its wings against the glass jar looked nice. Eventually I let it go, it was something I did, most kids did, now and then.

But one day I was in the bathroom and all of a sudden I got the feeling that the walls had moved closer and the place was smaller, tighter, I looked around in fear and would have sworn apart from the walls moving in everywhere seemed darker. I ran out of the bathroom in fear and panic. It was after hours of wondering how to explain what happened to someone without being labeled possessed that I told my aunty and she explained Claustrophobic to me.

I had neither caught nor imprisoned any butterflies that day but I spent a very sober evening wondering if butterflies suffer this same affliction and how those countless butterflies had felt locked up in my jar. What if they had felt that same panic I felt, that almost senseless fear that I would choke or even die if I remained in there? I tried to make myself feel less evil, telling myself that the jar was glass and see-through and they could still look out. However, that was the very last day I ever imprisoned a butterfly or any other insect or animal for that matter (not counting the lock-ins my late cat got for bad behavior).

I grew up a little that day. I understood better how it must feel not only to feel but to be completely helpless and at the mercy of forces bigger than you. I might have discovered I was claustrophobic but the butterfly taught me about the responsibility that comes with power.


So where have butterflies gone anyway? When was the last time you saw a butterfly?

Thursday, 21 November 2013

I Don't Want To Die



I fear death a whole lot, I dont think there will ever be an occasion or circumstances under which I would not fear death. I fear death and its all for the simple fact that I dont know what comes after.

Nobody wants to die, I am no exception and I think this borders more on the fact that I am not sure about all the stories of life after death anymore. So I feel very unwilling to give up the life I have for one I am not sure of and cannot vouch for its existence.

The life I have, I know, I believe in and I will strive to keep, as futile as that may turn out to be. Yes it is comforting to believe in one form of religion or the other, be it the life of reward, paradise, purgatory and hell after here or that of reincarnation. It is surely nice to believe your life has purpose, that you are here for a reason and that after your purpose is done you return from whence ye came to stay there or return again perhaps in another form to fulfill another purpose. That is the comfort of religion. Life cannot be random, good and evil cannot share the same fate.

But I have had time to think, there are too many different religions and beliefs and not enough differences between human beings no matter their colour or location to justify the different stories of the here-after. It is simple, from Africa to Australia, China to Chile that to create new life males and females are involved and the females are the ones who carry the young until they are big enough and strong enough to be entities of their own. That humans will normally have two legs, two hands and one nose with two nostrils irrespective of the colour or the sizes of this items. How then can we look same, breath same air, all live under the influence of gravity and other natural laws, destined to be born and to die and yet somehow manage to get different things happen to us after death?

I believe in the duality of humanity dont get me wrong, its hard not to believe in spirits and consciousness when you suffer from a severe case of sleep paralysis. I believe we have a physical and spiritual part to us. Yes we die and the physical turns to dust or soil if allowed and ash if fire plays a part and yes i do wonder what happens to the spirit part, where it goes, what it does and if it is still essentially you but i cant seem to agree or believe religious doctrines of where it goes and what it gets up to. In fact to believe some doctrines will mean to accept we still get to keep the physical since it seems to be involved in a lot of activities it got up to before death.

I dont want to die because i dont know what comes after. I dont believe good and evil will get just rewards after here, i already think natural law has its own way of taking care of that. Also i believe the lines between good and evil get blurred everyday. How will evil be judged when our conscience gets schooled to a new way of thought? Will the children raised in that brave new world be judged the same?

I dont want to die because i dont believe in the heaven or hell or purgatory or reincarnation I am being told about. There might be something after death, most likely even, since i dont believe in the evolution theory of creation or that of religion but firmly believe there is something, someone out there bigger than us. Did we come from there? Will we return there? Where is there? I don't know but I will not randomly believe for my lack of knowledge.

I dont want to die, short and simple.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Nigerian Outrage Trends







Agitation and protests are fashion trends for Nigerians. I think Nigerians are a people very easy to manage and control even by the least among the crafty. Our attention span lasts all of one week or a little more  before we are off to new fights, new anger, another agitation another protest. And with the type of leaders we have we never lack for new material.

During the subsidy protests people were just about ready to lay down their lives in their anger and disbelief that government would try such a stunt. The subsidy was removed and everyone returned to their normal lives and after all these time no one has come out to say what effects the subsidy removal has had on Nigerians. This was something that had protests and rallies from one end the country to the other now a tale of events. That fashion trend had faded.

Ettehgate and the Dimeji Bank-ole scandals came and went. Past, forgotten.  Wasn't that Bankole's scandal the case of a disappearing 9 billion naira? Money disappears in Nigeria like 'Indian film', didn't the Senate president recently say some billions of SURE-P money got bored sitting around idle and just walked into the night and disappeared?

Farouk Lawan became so popular one time he even had his own money with his face on it. The bribery scandal that was caught on tape. Nigerians screamed and ranted, we would not stand for this we would fight this yadayada yaa. Does anyone still remember Farouk? He is actually right now still in the House of Assembly having been cleared by his peers of all wrong doing.  Nobody, not even Otedola the bribe giver and whistle blower protested. That fashion had faded.

Is it just me or has the story of the 2 armoured BMWs stopped making headlines? Everyone seemed to have sacked Stella Oduah on social media. In a time of ASUU strike when money was needed was the cry and also why go to such lengths to protect just you when no one is protecting us against Boko Haram, never mind the millions it cost over known models. Funny thing is everyone has gotten bored with the ASUU strike too it lasted longer than people were willing to put up with a particular trend. Apart from those directly concerned - students and lecturers, I haven't heard anyone scream ASUU in a while.

Do we all remember the Taraba state Governor who was involved in a plane crash and taken to the US for treatment? Didn't he return looking almost unaware of his surroundings and was practically carried down from the plane? The hue and cry about him not fit to remain leader of that state. Anyone following events in that state of recent? Nah we moved on :-D

Our leaders have learnt very well, to fade into the background when their s..t hits the fan and give us time to run mad, take a breather, cool down and move unto newer scandals. And until we follow a outrage to a logical conclusion our leaders will continue to plunder and use us. After all its only one week or two of name calling and abuse they will have to endure when their shady dealings get into the open, they still get to keep their loot maybe give up an itsy bit of it to the Judiciary to give the most outrageous of judgments in their favour. Politicians and their ranks have studied the outrage trends too, if a PDP scandal drops today, look forward to an APC scandal tomorrow each group hoping their smear was more outrageous, implicating and far reaching than the other's.

Till we refuse to be excited for excitement sake, scandals will trend every other week.........what's trending this week by the way? :-p



Saturday, 9 November 2013

Tips: House keeping For all

I put on my air conditioner today and it wasn't cooling very well, without thought to it I climbed my sofa ( we midgets :-D ) and pulled off the grill cover and then I remembered I didn't always know this was a first step in checking AC cooling until a friend told me. So I am telling you now in addition to a few other tips, hope they help.

Air Conditioner
Before you go calling a technician about your AC not cooling properly here is a 'first aid' tip to try. Please note that this tip is not for split units. Pull the grill cover (mostly placed on the side away from where the control buttons are placed. You will find it's so full of dust and sooth, air has no way to pass through and get to the grill. Remove the netted frame behind it - it slides out - soak both pieces in a bowl of soapy water and wash thoroughly then air them or just flip to remove water drops. Replace the netted frame back then replace the grill cover back on your AC. Note that it has clips where it will seat exactly, use writings on the frame to tell you which side is up. Put on your AC again and immediately you should feel the difference, if after 2 minutes you don't notice a difference in the cooling from what it was then it might be time to invite a technician

Carpets
If you didn't know the difference between rugs and carpets, carpets are those wall to wall coverings on your floor while rugs are those smaller pieces just by the center table or beside your bed which can easily be lifted and taken outside for a good cleaning. This tip is for carpets, especially the kind glued to the floor.
Think about all the dust you clean off your furniture everyday and then you can begin to imagine the amount of dust resting in your carpet. You probably know how dusty it is but moving out all the furniture in order to remove it and send it to the cleaners is the last 'labour' you want to be involved in right now and you don't own a vacuum cleaner. Get a bucket of water add a bit of detergent (remember just a bit) then dip your broom in it, flick it to remove excess drops of water and sweep your carpet. Dip broom as often as needed (when it completely dries up), sweep carpet at least twice. Sweeping it a few more times helps, the water will tell you just how dirty your carpet was.

Refrigerators
It can be quite annoying when you open your fridge and some foul smell assaults you. To eliminate smells from your fridge make sure all the stuff you put in there is packed in airtight packages. Cooked food especially should be put in airtight plastics, yoghurt smells all good until it stays open in a close fridge and the nice goes out of it. Also when you store meat in the freezer remember that just polythene wont do, you should also place it in a plastic bowl (not necessarily one with a lid). When NEPA strikes the meat will start to defrost and the last thing you want is meat water leaking unto your freezer then passing through the drain to be collected in the drain bowl. Also remember to check and empty and clean the drain bowl behind your refrigerator.

Clothes
The last thing you want to find on your clothes is dust, lint and those little balls that seem to grow on certain materials, sweaters especially. If its a severe case of those balls, get a razor blade put the cloth down flat and smooth and carefully shave them off, its a bit time consuming but you will remember why you bought that particular dress when you are done I promise :-).  On suits and jackets  you can use a lint remover (looks like a big roll of masking tape). Rolling over the cloth neatly, effectively and quickly removes dust, pieces of thread, cloth, lint, whatever is sticking to your clothes. Note that using this on some black suede jackets can give them a whitish look, its rare but happens, try using the lint remover on the edge of the jacket and see. After a while you will notice the lint remover isn't so effective, you then tear off that sheet to expose a fresh sheet and continue as needed.Everyone should have a lint remover, its cheap (about 2000naira) lasts ages and does wonders to clothes. Come thank me later :-D

Throw Pillows
You wash your pillow cases at least once a week. Can you remember when last you washed the pillows on your chairs? Never? Lucky you if they are coffee brown in colour, if they were white they do be a nasty shade of brown now. This is the right weather to wash those filthy throw pillows, there is enough sunlight now to fry an egg n the sidewalk so soak them over night and wash then nice and early so that by sundown they are dry and crisp. But you don't need to wait for November to wash your throw pillows, go buy pillow cases for them  and spice up the look of your room. They will change the way your sofas look  and you can easily wash them every other week.


Hope this helps someone :-)

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Dino Melaye: Crusader or Tura Soap?

Once upon a time not too long ago, a miracle soap by the name 'Tura' came to town. Every state, city, town and the 'interiorest' of villages knew and were using this particular soap. It was praised by all young and old, dry skin and oily skin, fair skinned and 'wanna be fairer' skinned. It cured everything from pimples to blackness and most importantly it was at an affordable price so everyone who needed it could access it. Sometimes its was scraped, dissolved and used as body cream, such was the beauty of Tura.

Then the never see good in anything government started with their propaganda that dear beloved Tura contained dangerous chemicals, mercury precisely and was harmful to skin and general health. I mean can you imagine? A soap that was helping us not only be clean and germ free but making us fairer skinned - never mind the multicoloured patches on elbows, knuckles, ankles and cheek bones, never mind the stretch marks, never mind those silly enemies of progress that seemed not to recognise us in our new skin tone or that strong antiseptic smell that followed us around - here was government clamping down on its availability around the country and making it expensive and scarce.

And so gradually but surely Tura bowed out. But before we all could count our 'gains' Crusader soap which looked very like Tura came to town, perhaps it had always been in town we really cant tell because we were too busy 'Turaing' to know or be concerned even. But now Tura was gone and here was Crusader, same blue colour, same strong antiseptic smell, same bleaching properties in fact but for the pack and name it seemed the same thing to what we had always known as Tura

But its name was Crusader.

Not only that, Tura was marketed as a germicidal medicated soap but Crusader came as a safety soap. Two soaps that look very much alike in colour, smell, properties but here was one as a safety soap and the other a mouthful of germicidal and medicated. Their essential difference was in packaging and name. That alone was supposed to make us not only believe but accept they were two different soaps.

Crusader soap even had a shield to show us it was here to shield and protect our skin, if the safety soap label didnt already get us to believing its intentions. Crusader, a soap on a mission to protect us all. Never mind it had only appeared to fill the void created by change it had no control over.

The main difference between Tura and Crusader is the fact that Tura came as it was, while Crusader pretended to be a better, nicer, safer approach.

Otunba Dino Melaye the house of Rep member and Dino Melaye the Anti-corruption network group leader.

Dino Melaye was once a member of the house of representatives. A place where laws are made, bills are presented, accepted and passed to law. Now he is an ex-honourable (excuse me, if the honourable title is a life one) and the great crusader for the masses. He was one of they whom he fights against now, but right now he is purportedly one of the downtrodden masses. A man who has pledged to fight every, endure all (wasn't his bullet proof car allegedly shot by the police in an assassination attempt.....lucky him it wasn't a BMW) until his beloved masses are treated right by corrupt politicians in high places.

Nigerian politics is a complete phenomenon even to the best of political minds so forgive me if i dont understand how Dino who was only yesterday buying exotic Australian horses and posh cars is now fighting government on corruption. What allowance allowed for such a lavish lifestyle? Is it a case of not talking when you are eating but now your mouth is empty you can comfortably say it as it is?

I cannot find evidence of  Dino like Tura doing much for us when he was where he could actually affect the change he seeks now and like Tura being stamped on and thrown out by government. Evidence of that would make me more inclined to accept the Crusader safety soap he has become now. Sometimes I watch Dino Melaye speak and I wonder if its a case of 'right message, wrong messenger'.



Is Dino more Tura than Crusader?


Saturday, 2 November 2013

Solar Eclipse Phenomenon

Have you ever had the opportunity to witness an Eclipse?  Too young? Too busy? Not interested? Don't know what an Eclipse is?

Basically, within our visible aspect of the solar system, three bodies are involved (Sun, Moon and Earth). The elementary explanation of an Eclipse is the result of interference of one of these bodies at a certain point in time within the visible paths of the others due to relative speeds in their individual motions as they revolve along their various orbits.

Scientifically, an Eclipse is the astronomical alignment in which a planetary object (for example, the moon) comes between the Sun and another planetary object (for example, the Earth) resulting in a shadow being cast by the middle object onto the other object - Online dictionary OR An eclipse is an astronomical event that occurs when an astronomical object is temporarily obscured, either by passing into the shadow of another body or by having another body pass between it and the viewer - Wikipedia

Here comes an eclipse, a sign. How times have changed. Everyone seems to know better but there was a time when such occurrences were a time for tall tales.....and short ones even. Of gods in high places showing their anger and reminding us of the quality of their wrath if we didn't change our wicked ways. Of the wise fooling the ignorant and the ignorant fooling both themselves and fellow ignoramuses. How times have have changed.

Solar eclipses occur at the new moon and new moons occur at the beginning of the month, since most calendars are based on lunar activities.

As you may have observed if you have been around long enough, this occurrence shows up at irregular intervals but scientists have found a way of calculating when they will happen to an exact time.

Get ready everyone, Tommorow, 3rd November 2013 is the D day, Between 12:37 and 13:30 GMT. A total Solar Eclipse isn't expected in most places but there should be enough shadows to make for some nice pictures. Get your cameras and telescopes out and ready to mark this Solar Eclipse in style ;). Please note that looking directly at the sun during an eclipse or any other time for that matter is dangerous to the eyes and using cameras without a solar filter can fry your lens. Experts say a safe way to view an eclipse is by making a pinhole camera (a 3 millimetre hole in one piece of paper) then turning your back to the sun and using the pierced page to project the image of the sun on another sheet of paper.

I hear somewhere in Uganda a Total Eclipse will be observed, if you are an Eclipse Chaser you better be on the next flight to Uganda if you haven't arrived yet :-)

Basically, we must understand that we are part of a solar system where everything and everyone is in constant motion within their individual paths and destiny. At certain times and moments, there may be some form of interference, sometimes full and at other times partial. Shadows may cast, rays may intensify, but just like the bodies represented in the Eclipse, keep moving within the bounds of your orbit and before your know it, such interference will be known for what it is.... A basic PHENOMENON...

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Friends For All :-)

City life can be busy, the hustle never ends. Everyone is super busy and the 1000 virtual friends you have, you never meet. So all your great friends from the university moved away to find jobs and get on with their livess like you did. You find yourself going to work and coming home Monday to Friday and the only time you go out is to go sit in semi lighted bars watching a match and having a beer. You might never find friends as cool as those you had but that is no reason to keep virtual friends. Alone is no life and loneliness is unhealthy.

Ok. Lets get to making friends already. This isn't about networking, attending the right social events so you can find people to advance your career.....thats just more work. This is about finding people you can visit, do stuff with, ask for help from or get to help and generally just relate to.

Places. Do you like football? if you do, a great place to meet people is at.....yeah right! most certainly not sports bar....the thousands of football pitches littered all over the place. You dont even have to play if you don't want to, just go watch on the weekends. Get noticed, cheer, help return balls to the pitch, soon enough you will be invited to join in a game (if you are interested). Don't hang around pitches where young boys with Premiership dreams play, pick the ones where the football is more of a social and keep-fit event. The big tummies you will see are a good pointer :-D. Other sports too, volley ball, basketball and tennis, you can meet people there, just choose a sport you like and are interested in. You are trying to find friends not material for a presentation.

Do you know how to dance? Who the hell cares. Go join a salsa class or any dancing class. Its fun, its a few hours you can spare and it will definitely get you in a good mood. Dancing always makes me happy even though i have two left feet. Dancing makes everyone happy so its great place to meet people....happy people. And you do be keeping in shape too but let that be secondary.....nobody likes a new job :-).

Colleagues. They are people too outside work. Get to know them more, accept those invitations to parties at their place invite them over when you can. Of course you have to work out which of your colleagues you should be getting better acquainted with. The work place can be such a cut throat place.

 Go for picnics. Get your family and find a park, lake or any other place good for a sit out. Kids playing around happily will attract other kids and eventually attract parents. Parents love to tell tales about their kids' abilities when they meet each other :-P get chatting, friends might last for a lifetime but friendship starts with a hello.

Events. Go and see what people are up to. Accept invitations no matter how random if you can spare the time, go spend it with people. Join events like Hash Harriers it does not have membership obligations to the best of my knowledge like attending meetings and such stuff, events are mostly once a month and fun or any other such events . Create an event and invite people. Could be sometime simple like....Come with a partner, lets play tag by the lake this Saturday, its the boys versus the girls.....invite everyone even random people you just met. People relax at such events and are more real.

Places you might think you will ignite friendship but hardly ever do:

Hair saloons - its just a gossip zone and the reason no one is talking about you now is because you are sitting right there. Everyone is too busy sizing up the others' hair, make up and clothes to think about friendship.

Bars - people you meet in the bar all the time become bar buddies never friends you look out for them when you are at the bar but forget about them completely when you are not there unless you are telling someone some sh.t stunt your bar buddy got up to.

School Reunions - If your actual friends are there you always hang on one end with them sizing up others. The main reason people go there is to see if so and so is doing any better

The Net - Virtual friends are a hard sell as real friends. Some of your virtual friends are real close, you tell each other everything, that doesn't translate to friendship in the real world. The mind never sees anything in a void, it will paint a picture of your virtual friends right down to attitude and when you eventually meet them......

Everyone should work, and hard even to make a living in today's world but real friends will be there long after retirement. Keep your friends by keeping in touch and make more friends every opportunity you get. Life is so much better with friends :-)

Monday, 28 October 2013

When Your Rights Infringe On My Right

There are so many rights these days....women rights, gay rights, religious rights, animal rights. Too many rights, in fact these rights are beginning to infringe on the greatest right of all - MY RIGHT!

It is my fundamental right not to be affected in any way by your rights. If that isn't in the constitution it ought to be added. When your right infringe on my right it can no longer be termed a right, that's just wrong.

The fact that you have to fight for a particular thing worldwide defeats the term right. Because even when you didn't have the opportunity to practice it openly it was still there. Making the public aware of a particular position does not make it a right it just gives lawyers jobs. I mean come on some guy in Canada cuts all the trees there to build up the city and now he is in Nigeria fighting for the right of trees to live happily ever after?

What all you fighters of women rights have not realised is that you are fighting the wrong person concerning women rights. If I catch any religious person fighting for women's right I might have to bring out some kung-fu tae-chi. If you are non religious but believe in nature you going to get a whooping too.

Biologically women are weaker than men in strength, in physical ability but women are mentally stronger than men you would think we would be developing that strength as we rule the world behind the scenes. If we are talking about women driving in Saudi Arabia or women getting to vote or getting jobs they qualify for I say YES but women joining the military under the same conditions as men? Being treated same as men? Come on that's one GI Jane movie too many. Where does the equality start and where does it take a break? when women go on maternity leave? Would you consider it fair if women played against men in a football match?

Men and woman are not the same short and simple, whether its an equality thing or just plain old difference. So when you fighters of rights go fighting remember I am also a woman and I would not like to be treated same as a man. I like having doors opened for me I like having certain privileges because I am female like soft talking my way out of a problem with that helpless 'what do I know' look (always works ;-) )

How does one talk about gay rights and stay on the safe patch? I don't know, I won't try. I am not gay I don't have any gays in my family or friends (to the best of knowledge) and the simplest of all is I don't understand why people should be gay. Don't kill me yet. It is my right to have an opinion I believe. Yeah 'Brokeback mountain' made me cry, but let me not digress and lose track. People have been gay since 'I don't know when' they kept it to themselves. The sexual preferences of two consenting adults should be their business, but don't assault my senses any further by trying to force me to accept your so called right. The crazed look gay men have should be all you need to tell you that ain't right!

What next? People who feel like doing animals telling us about their rights? By the way, people have been doing that too since 'i don't know when'. Before we know it paedophiles will hold a world wide conference and the next anthem will be 'don't hate us we were born this way' rights protest. They may even add a clause that 'as long as the affected kids are of registered paedophiles' then its fine and the next right and the next and the next. Where will it end? Gays holding us mere heterosexuals at gun point to make babies, so the world doesn't come to a quicker end than the end time predictions?

If religious people had their way women rights and gay rights will never be heard of even in idle talk. I don't know of any religion that does not condemn same sex relationships ( i will ignore the fact that they sometimes practice what they preach against) and see women as lesser mortals. Eve from Adams rib and 70 virgins promised to righteous men says it all. i would say religion and the religious have killed more humans than the two world wars and serial killers combined. 
The right to practice your religion is one thing but when in the practice of your religion my fundamental human rights are crushed that is no longer a right but a wrong. Your religion is not my religion and the world does not have a unitary religion so practice your religion without disrupting my right to peace.

Animal rights are one right I am yet to understand but like all things in today's world, it's a fast spreading fashion. Animals are beginning to have more rights than humans. First question why do dogs have more rights than chickens?
I love dogs. I come from an area where a dog is seen as closer to being human than any other animal and our family dog Shaggy is secure in his knowledge that he is practically family. However I respect the rights of those regions who eat dogs as long as they eat their dogs not mine.
I love chicken.....very much, especially 'spicy wings' and I will respect a person who says chickens have souls that is his belief as long as it does not affect my chicken eating rights.
I watched a documentary about ONE 'about to be extinct' tiger where SIX humans died trying to steal and trying to save it. At the end of the documentary the tiger was shown eating a large piece of some other animal (with no rights like the humans who got killed).
If dogs want to have rights in a complete region they should move to USA if cows want rights they should move to India, pigs should move to the middle east and chickens to mars. For those animals going extinct they had better start mating because an animal is still just an animal and we humans rule until Aliens get here and maybe even after that.

How about fighting for human rights. The right for all humans to be treated right, the right for human life to be the ultimate.  For everyone as one complete right. Wouldn't it be better than this sectional rights? that offend one side against the other? But then you have to wonder what people will bring out of their cupboards as rights to claim for their happiness in the 'accord'

The human right isn't complicated... it's the right to make sure no human is hurt, hungry, homeless or lonely.


 I cannot decide what right you choose to fight for but whatever right you choose, remember that if your right infringes on my right then your right is wrong. :-D

Snoring: HELP!

Why do people snore? I don't know and to be honest I don't care I just want them to STOP!!!!

Unless its 'Sleep Apnea', ......and before you go dancing and thinking you have found a good excuse for that racket that comes out of your throat know it that this is a serious and dangerous disorder that can lead to serious consequences. Sleap apnea is a condition where the sufferer's breathing lowers as he/she sleeps until it gets to a point where it stops for some seconds and causes the person to jerk out of sleep so as to restart breathing. It causes loud snoring as the person struggles to breath. This condition can lead to heart disease and stroke over time outside the tiredness in the day that comes with lack of restful sleep.

But I am no medical expert and this isn't a biology class about good reasons for snoring. Such people as described above should as a matter of urgency go see a doctor. It's the rest of you happy snorers I am talking to, who snore with reckless abandon while we poor mortals attempt to sleep. Stop telling us you don't know why you snore we don't know either and we don't want to know. We however want to know what and what you have done to try and stop it before we run mad and strangle you.

Here are three 'try this first' methods that might help reduce or even stop snoring

1. Everyone who snores should try this as a first line of cure, because its easy. Don't lie on your back. Like never. Make it a mortal sin. Always lie on your side. You can put a pillow behind you to support you and and stop you rolling unto your back while sleeping or you can hug a pillow ( with that soundtrack you probably have nothing else to hug). This will stop you from lying face up and opening up your throat for 'sound of music'. For some snorers this practically cures them.

2. Try losing weight. Ok some great snorers are as thin as rakes but if you check it more fat people than slim people snore. Think about it in this terms when you get fat you get extra tissue in your throat making it bigger but narrowing the inner pipe. Forcing air out of a narrower pipe is sure to cause a whistling. And losing weight is a win win situation so its a good option to look into.

3. It's late in the day, you have finished all the day's labour and are probably going to hang in front of the TV until bedtime. Why for goodness sake are you about to eat that mighty bowl of 'Fufu'?? Stop eating heavy meals 4-5 hours before bedtime, unless you do manual labour in your dreams where all that food will be put to use, STOP IT. Eating heavy meals will make you heavy and lazy and lax in sleep and prone to terrific snore volumes.

These aren't such hard things to try are they? before you decide to resign to fate and make your loved ones suffer a life of 'bedtime' hate. Always in a hurry to fall asleep before you and hoping they go deep enough not to hear you when you start with the music to wake the dead.

Doesn't hurt to try. Parents Wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, siblings and friends this is the time to help your snoring loved ones find a way out of snoring.

Remember if self cure remedies don't help it might be wise to seek professional help. Don't resign to fate and allow your loved ones and neighbours to continue to use your name in swear words every night.



Hope I hear a testimony to these methods soon :-D

Saturday, 26 October 2013

What's Your Phobia?

I never knew there were so many phobias, a complete dictionary of them even. Some of them are just plain comedy.

A Phobia is described as an irrational and excessive fear of an object or situation. 

I picked out a few.

ALEKTOROPHOBIA- the fear of chickens.
Wasn't able to find out if it was of whole fried chicken, just spicy wings, roasted chicken or just a quacking hen.

AMBULOPHOBIA - fear of walking.
Wonder if the ambul part of it means you would rather use an ambulance. 

ANDROPHOBIA - fear of men.
Who suffers from this phobia? lesbians or animals?

ARITHMOPHOBIA -fear of numbers.
This is a good way stop anyone from forcing math on you.

ARSONPHOBIA -fear of fire.
Sounds more like the fear of commiting the crime of arson to me.

AUROPHOBIA - the fear of gold.
Ehm.....who exactly suffers from this fear?

BALLISTOPHOBIA - fear of missiles or bullets.
Yep that's my phobia.

BIBLIOPHOBIA - fear of books.
Quite a number of people in this generation suffer terribly from this phobia. 

BROMIDROPHOBIA - fear of body smells.
Aha! I knew there was a good reason why I hate buses.

CACOPHOBIA - fear of ugliness. 
cacophony of laughter hahahaha hehehehe hohoho first, define ugliness then you can decide what this phobia is all about....is it of self or of others?

CATOPTROPHOBIA - fear of mirrors.
I know a few ladies that ought to be afflicted with this particular phobia.

CHROMETOPHOBIA - fear of money.
Most certainly not me :-D 

ECCLESIOPHOBIA - fear of church.
Not a witch's fault then that she can't go into a church.

HETEROPHOBIA - fear of opposite sex.
Spell GAY.

HYDROPHOBIA - fear of water.
Cool. Don't swim and if you must, drink pepsi.

ITHYPHALLOPHOBIA - fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.
Bwahahahahaha can't think of anything to say to that, its a classic. 

KYPHOPHOBIA - fear of stooping.
This is a phobia every king should have.

LACHANOPHOBIA - fear of vegetables. 
I will keep this handy for the next time someone tries to force vegetables on me.

LOGOPHOBIA - fear of words
Those that have it might never know, because you can't tell them or ask them to read this :-D 

MELOPHOBIA - fear of music. 
That's a wicked phobia.

NOMATOPHOBIA - fear of names.
Yours or others'?

OCTOPHOBIA - fear of figure 8.
How about two zeros sitting on each other? 

PHOBOPHOBIA - fear of phobias. 
Jackpot! 

SYNGENESOPHOBIA - fear of relatives.
Mean relatives in particular please take note.

VENUSTRAPHOBIA - fear of beautiful women.
This particular phobia made me decide not to be beautiful, I would really hate it if someone got irrationally afraid just because of my beauty :-D.


My greatest fear however is the fear of being forced to learn this $#%¿, I wonder what that particular fear is called?

Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Placebo Effect

The human body can be tricked into doing anything, even healing itself from a so called helpless case and sometimes with just drops of water. If the mind believes a certain medication will heal an ailment, you actually start feeling better the moment you take it. Even when it is too soon for it to have reacted with your body.

Today a 43 page despressing document sat waiting for me to read it, after leafing through it for 10 minutes I decided there was no need postponing what I would eventually be forced to do so I started reading it. I had decided I would read 20pages today and the rest tomorrow or maybe late at night today.

I had only gone through 4 boring pages when I started feeling sleepy, by the 7th page I had to keep back tracking because I couldn't tell what I was reading anymore. I got a bottle of cold water and sipped some then pushed the bottle around while I tried to read. Wasn't working. Next I got a lollipop, ceremoniously peeled its wrapper then squeezed it and tried a bull's eye on the waste basket. I missed thrice before I finally got it in and returned back to reading with the lollipop in my mouth. 2 pages later I was jerked out of sleep by a door closing somewhere.

Annoyed and staring at the offending document I chewed on my lollipop till it was all gone. Then I sipped some water and tried to read again the lollipop stick still in my month. After a while I started mimicking smoking with the stick and puffing out imaginary smoke, tapping on the side of my table like an ashtray. I had been doing this absent minded for maybe 5 pages before I noticed it. I didn't stop it though.  I wasn't feeling sleepy anymore and I could tell what this formerly annoying document was about and was enjoying it. I finished all 43 pages made a few notes before I stood up laughing at myself and the Human mind in general.

Do people fall asleep while smoking? I don't know, I don't smoke, I don't think so. But my mind or what I like to call Consciousness knew all I needed was a placebo to tell me why I wasn't actually feeling sleepy......too busy smoking to be sleepy but not so busy as to be unable to read. My mind told my body that and my body accepted it and stopped the sleep gears. Because in one way or the other i had related the importance of this document to my mind and immediately it went to work. Just like it tells the sick body to stop being sick and start healing itself. The sick person had somehow related to it the reason he/she needed to be well.....it could be because the person had taken this and that drug and it cures, of which the person is totally convinced or wearing the medalion of a saint and it heals all ailments of those who wear it. Whatever it is, the mind just needs to be sent to give the body the order.


The therapeutic action of a Placebo.



I hope Science is putting in more time studying the human mind than it is trying to find other beings :-D



The power of Mind over Matter is Magic.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Is That Actually What You Meant? Misused, Misspelt Words.

I was going through some writing I did and came across a misspelled word that resulted in a different word from what i had intended and gave the statement a meaning so different it was almost criminal.  It got me thinking of words we sometimes use interchangeably which are actually not, and how a 'C' instead of an 'S' changes a word completely to something else.

I bet most of us have been guilty of such at one time or the other, think you haven't? Take a look.

AFFECT - To influence or alter
EFFECT - The result or outcome of a cause
Usage
A 'C' grade in English will affect your overall grade and the effect could be a rejection of your scholarship application.

BORN - Given birth to, having started life
BORNE - Carried, supported
Usage
Mrs Simpson is wondering how her new born baby got a virus, the Nurse said it is air-borne.

BEEN - Were [always used after have, has and had]
BEING - To be[always used after is, was and were] (let's forget the noun part of this word for now.....we are all Beings :-) )
Usage
I have been in protective custody I just dont know who is being protected there

CANVAS - Type of coarse cloth
CANVASS - Solicitation of voters or public opinion
Usage
That canvas tent is a good position for him to canvass.

COMPLIMENT - Praise or express approval
COMPLEMENT - To add so as to improve
Usage
You should wear heels to complement your dress I am quite sure you will get many compliments at the party

DISCREET - Not drawing attention, respectful or privacy or secrecy
DISCRETE - Separate, distinct, individual
Usage
Having a discreet affair isn't easy but they managed to keep it discrete from the work place

ELICIT - Draw out a response or reaction
ILLICIT - Not approved by Law
Usage
His use of illicit drugs was known by all as the reason for his screaming bouts but he still managed to elicit anger in them

EMIGRATE - Leave your country to live in another
IMMIGRATE - Come into another country to live permanently
Usage
There are no jobs available here everyone wants to emigrate and because of the visa lottery scheme people immigrate easily to the US

ENVY - Want what someone else has
JEALOUSY - Worry someone is trying to take what you have
Usage
I envy your ability to compartment your feelings but it does not stop the jealousy I feel towards him

FLAIR - Talent for something
FLARE - Wider at one end, spread
Usage
She has a flair of public speaking and everyone loves her but I don't understand why she would want to flare tempers with that particular speech.

IMPLY - To suggest indirectly
INFER - Draw a reasoned conclusion
Usage
I did not imply her husband was dating Mrs Smith, I only told you what i saw, I really can't help what you infer from it

LOOSE - To unfasten, set free or loosen
LOSE - Cease to be in one's possession
Usage
Your keyring is quite loose, I would hate to see you lose your car key again

STOREY - Floor or level of a building
STORY - Tale or account (*US uses this as storey)
Usage
We saw that blonde actress standing at the balcony of that 10 storey building again today, I would prefer not to hear another suicide story.



Wow that wasn't as easy as I thought when I started out. Thank you Webster for all the help. Hope I didn't murder grammar along the way :-D


Still say you haven't?  Then Congrats, you sure do pay attention to English words.
Do you know any others? I bet there are, let me know.


Thanks for dropping by :-)

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Blackie: A celebration of Life


I love cats and cats love me. They are quick to sense I am someone who can be meowed into handing over a bowl of warm milk and a sizeable piece of Sardine. Cats are smart animals, they can pick out soft people from a mile away. But this isn't about my cat. Both my cats died a while ago and after Ginger my last cat died a pretty horrific death I decided cats that pass through are much softer on the heart when they go. But this isnt about the death of my cat, this is about Blackie who passed away a few months ago.

Blackie was the queen of my family home. She belonged to no-one in particular she just walked into the family house and never left till she died 6 years and 37 kittens later. No one knew any of her male friends but before we got around to giving away one batch of kittens Blackie was pregnant again. By the time she died Zorro her grand daughter (pictured above) still felt free to hang around her and share in the little bites she brought for her current litter. She was that kind of a mother.

But she wasn't a nice cat that Blackie, even though she never hurt kids no matter how many times they picked her by her tummy or dragged her by her tail, she was however quick to scratch an erring adult and had a ready knock for the family dog Shaggy. She chose which room to sleep in and found a way to get into every room in the family house. First she would meow asking you to let her in if that didn't work she would try scratching the door then find another way....even through the ceiling.

Blackie was a crazy kitten making machine and had a quick to scratch 'no nonsense from you' attitude but she was a loved cat and she knew it. I remember she fell sick one time and the vet came to see her and she was injected, she cried for two days. That vet never laid eyes on her again she smelt him a distance away and was long off to hide before he walked into the house after that day.

We always had fun guessing which of the male cats around were possible fathers from the colour of the kittens. We never could tell for sure though. A piece of meat or fish left unattended belonged to her there was no arguement about that and she would rub your legs insistently until you handed over a bit of whatever you were eating or cooking. She knew how to put a meow to good use.

Blackie seemed to lose more and more of her fur with each batch of kittens and preferred to stay by herself more than around people in her last year unless she she was curled up in your lap getting a belly rub and ear scratching. She was a brown and black striped cat, more brown than black with green eyes. I guess she grew old, I guess her last batch of kittens was a little more than her body could bear.

Blackie died three months ago.

I like to think she lived a full and happy life. I believe she did.


Nobody in the family had any pictures of Blackie I could use here. But that is Zorro(the black and white cat) Blackie's granddaughter and her daughter(named Blackie too and looks completely alike) Blackie's Great Grand Daughter. Zorro's mother was actually among Blackie's 3rd batch of kittens. 


Monday, 21 October 2013

Vampirestat A curse on you

I started this blog over a week ago and was happily checking my page views every hour and wondering how it got popular so quick. I checked my stats and discovered I was getting more traffic from Alaska than my own country which seemed quite odd because I write pretty random stuff......can't even think of a niche right now that would target Alaska.

I also noticed 3 pageviews from Adsensestat and googled it, looked pretty legit and then i googled Vampirestat and almost broke down in tears.....my traffic was fake! Spent hours reading blogs on Vampirestat and no solution anywhere. Thank goodness I never clicked on the link, learnt that would have doubled their visits.

Someone said they hook up on twitter to your blog and I think this is true too I haven't posted any blog links on twitter in two days and there haven't been any spikes in my page views either. But twitter is such a useful tool......argghhhh



Oh but for a moment there I thought my blog was that good. Now I know I am just another mortal.


I sometimes write something worth reading do check it out.

askhetty.blogspot.com

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Coloured Skin and a Bottle

Someone asked me if I knew any good skin lightening creams and even though I was rolling on the floor laughing in my head I calmly told her that I knew quite a few and had tried several and there were three that really worked for me but the down side is that they were mighty expensive. She looked me over and still went ahead to ask the product names.

Anyone who knows me would know how hilarious this is. I am only a shade removed from Alek Wek if indeed I am. But it got me thinking......not of lightening my skin even though I can list a few disadvantages of being this dark..... it got me thinking about skin lightening and today's woman.

Every woman  at one time or the other has been displeased with the way weather elements have affected her skin. Be it dryness, roughness or tone (in either directions) and for Black women......is coloured women the politically correct term?....Everywhere you turn there is a sign, subtle as it may be that lighter is much better or the way to be. First it starts with reparing your skin, regaining your real skin  tone to actually toning it up and then bleaching and whitening.

I looked up the old and recent pictures of a few people. Oprah, Rihanna and Genevieve.

Oprah seems to have 'regained' her real skin tone, Genevieve seems to have 'toned' up while Rihanna seems to have 'whitened' up her skin. Its all in the 'what did you do'? Stop the elements from playing with your skin? like creams that contain sunblock or that reduce a condition that your skin has e.g. dryness or just a 'little' tone up to give you that chocolaty colour you always wanted(my face is now the same tone with my thighs....so I just regained my real tone)
or the hey if I put my back into it I can be as fair skinned as......whoever.

Men are also a very big factor in this industry. Dark women notice how men's eyes immediately seek out and notice the light skinned 'yellow pawpaw' women, once too many times and its off to the beauty shop to buy bottles of skin tone regaining creams, toning creams or bleaching and whitening creams.

My face and neck are darker than the rest of my body, I really should do something about it.



That my friends is how we get started. The sales people will do the rest.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Looking Sideways to the Unknown

I have always felt that if you look sideways at the right time and right angle you would see that which walks in the shadows, which walk in angles too thin for the normal line of sight to capture.

I believe absolutely that they are there and our lack of proof is actually a way of keeping us sane. A shake of the head and the consoling words 'what the hell is wrong with you....be logical' to help us un-see what we for one second saw or un-feel that eery feeling that came upon us. Even our memory is in on it, quickly it pushes such events to the furthest recesses to be forgotten sometimes forever.

I believe in things I see and those I don't.  Completely. I have suffered for years from something I came to realise not long ago had a name 'Sleep paralysis' (en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis) which is funny because I am never asleep when it happens. For those who haven't felt it I am sure you have heard others talk about it......the someone pressing you down feeling where you can't move and scream and are filled with mad panic.

Everyone that has experienced it talks about feeling a presence just before the actual pressing feeling starts and most can swear the cause of the pressing is a 'someone' feeling as opposed to a board or mjornil (Thor's hammer). I can swear to that too, sometimes I feel I even see the 'someone' shadow just before it starts and its at that angle, that sideways view that a full glance never catches.

I have tried to be logical, scientific even and kept diaries. When it happens.....

is it season dependent?  No.

Is it emotion dependent? To the best of my knowledge...No.

Does it occur more during 'lying down wanting to go to sleep' than 'awake about to stand up'? Yes.
Why? I don't know

Am I asleep when it happens? No

Are my eyes open when it happens? No/Yes
Huh? They are closed because I end up opening them when its over however even though my eyes are closed, I can still see, its just that this view is different from my normal eyeline view. I see in a 360 degree angle

I have tried to stop panicking, relax and find out why this is happening, try to think rationally.....never helped either to end the ordeal more quickly or to understand why.
So I wonder why different people with different belief systems from different parts of the world living different lives have experienced at least once this very same exact ordeal?


When we can't find things where they should be its a time to look sideways.

Friday, 18 October 2013

Football Fans' WAGs: To Love A Fanatic

Females have always asked me to explain football to them or just to know why the heck men are so crazy about football.  Some of my male friends have asked me to talk to their partners about football and getting to fall in love with it.

Funny thing is I don't know what got me hooked on football, one minute I was nose deep in a Romance novel and the next it was Football. But I do understand how annoying it is to be around someone who doesn't understand your passion for the game.

And I thought to myself Football WAGs (wives and girlfriends) must get coached on how to 'put up' with and even enjoy their partners' kind of careers but no one remembered to coach the Fans' WAGs. Not right I tell you.

So I am giving a few tips on how to allow your partner enjoy his 'Fanaticism' and still be the loving partner you  need.

1. Do you have a PVR? If YES then That's perfect! PVR your favourite programmes when they clash with match times. Because its just mean to make a football fan watch the Lifestyle channel while a live match is going on.

2. Sit with him, watch the match and try to get what its about. Don't ask stupid questions like 'why does that guy keep picking the ball with his hand' right after 'who is that guy that keeps running along the line' You might only be trying to learn the game or show interest but stupid questions during a life game are just annoying.

3. Women always want to know if a choice came between them and the game who their man would choose. I am a woman and I will tell you now football will always win that contest. The only reason a man will let you have your way is so he can avoid a year long whine and enjoy some peace. No man is daft they all recognise the strength of a woman. So whenever he gives up a game he really wanted to watch to do something with you, it might seem like you won the day but resentment is building up.

4. If you absolutely refuse to learn the game then no one can make you but here is a tip.....get the match times right. Nobody wants to go visit your sick aunty on Champions League night (that's mostly Tuesdays and Wednesdays in certain weeks on certain months) If your partner is an English Premier League fan I think it will be safe to make no plans that involve him between 12noon and 8pm on Saturdays you might have to add Sundays too on some weeks. If he is just a football fan like most people are, Saturday and Sunday arrangements should never be made without consulting him first. You could check out the fixtures a few days before and figure out which he could easily give up and ask only for such times.

For example asking a Chelsea fan to give up a Chelsea/Man United match is sheer wickedness but a West Ham/Sunderland match could be given up to attend your third cousin Leila's wedding.

5. You might get bored sitting there watching the match with him but that is no time to start telling stories or asking questions that will save no lives at that particular time, especially if his team is losing. I once heard a girl ask her boyfriend why he wasn't paying attention to her....' after all your stupid team is losing'. Yeah that can be classified as wickedness in high places and might lead to domestic violence.
Football is a passionate and very emotional game.

But Football isn't just a game, its a lifestyle, its an addiction and that's why it has got Fanatics!


Women spend loads of time thinking up the perfect gift, how about a customized club shirt or tickets to a match if you can....I bet you 1-20 it beats the s..t out of workshirts , ties and perfumes.


Will think up more tips and keep you posted :-D

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Weight Loss By Bicycle?



If you are looking for another magic weight loss story this is certainly not the place to be. I am just lamenting like most people about my weight gain.

About 4 years ago I started worrying about my weight, while worrying I put on an additional 10kg which might not seem like so much weight unless you begin to think about a 10kg bag of rice, or what 10kgs of frozen turkey piled up would look like.....yes just like that.

Now that we have gotten 10kg into perspective, I am actually 20kg more than  I want to be.....overweight is such a mean word....and let's forget all that height/weight indices for a moment, its a depressing tool. 

Gaining weight is easy for someone like me, a loner by nature, helplessly 'allergic' to exercise, a slave to sugar (my teeth are too full of holes to make anyone, even me a slave) and not prone to motion. 

In fact for people like me weight gain is a natural disaster.

But I am not going to write you a book of lamentations. I want to tell you about the bicycle that will get me on my way to that magical heaven that is 'weight loss'. Just riding a bicycle with the wind in my face and some music to make the world less gray. If I find any weight loss along the way You will be the first to know, but, if per chance I fall by the way side, at least I will still own a bicycle to remind me of my epic quest.

Still searching out a good bicycle, will keep you posted on when I do find one and get started and tell you of all the curves 'Laziness throws at me :-D 

Evolution and Food Pattern


I like to think civilisation started when man discovered he didn't have to be exposed to every weather condition unnecessarily  or eat the animals he killed raw with blood dripping and all. I can't remember if I read it somewhere but I have this notion that man learnt about salt after washing his kills in salt water and discovering his kills always tasted better when washed in that particular body of water.

So man got civilised and started roasting then cooking then deep frying his food.

Looking at this bento box where would you say evolution is right  now?

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Divas and the baby effect


I was reading some gossip :-D news on the guardian and came across this picture of Beyonce and Blue Ivy. Reminded me I haven't heard much from her recently on the music front.....forgive me if this isn't so, I play catch up all the time. But it got me thinking of Divas and the force that is a baby, big enough to slow down their flow.

It reminded me of Celine Dion when she had her first son the cute young man in black. It was as if the world that didn't involve that precious bundle was not of any importance, every other word was about her son. I watched her on the Oprah Show then and it was my son this, he this he that and some more of his doings. And slowly but surely she moved from the spotlight into the great new world that is motherhood.

For Beyonce, who singlehandedly invented the word 'Bootilicious', milllions and millions of records sold, awards won, continents toured, married to the self styled King, it took one little bundle, carried for months (best I know) to slow her down, to reflect. I see her protecting their little joy from the monster that is Us fans and the paparazzi. Pictures of her in the streets with a hood over her child in a protective hunch.

No woman, diva or plain everyday Jane can deny the love force that is a baby. The power to make you rearrange your priorities and goals, to rethink what is important in your life.



Well there is always a Superwoman called Angelina Jolie

On Singular Goals

I am a very big fan of the Author Stephen King. I think he is completely nutty in the head but I love the way he writes, what he sees in his head and how he communicates it to the reader (Constant Reader :-D)
His work I would like to see on the screen is 'The Dark Tower' books Volume I-VII. They are not as popular JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings or  JK Rowling's Harry Potter because they are not on screen. We are more of a watching generation these days than a reading one. Its funny because a movie can only do so much a good book is magic its a place where you are the reader and yet you are the story, where your heart beat is in tune with the story (without sound effects to direct you). Unless you read books you would never understand the difference.

For those who haven't read it, the entire books are about a gunslinger's quest to find the so called dark tower. Its about the journey, the people and others who aren't exactly human enough to be so called and his belief that no sacrifice is too big or too small to stop his quest or stand in his way. Its what happens when someone's whole focus, entire life and belief system is based only on one thing. There is no way such a life will not be lonely or full of very few friends, that handful sensitivity enough or 'choiceless but' to follow you.

The Dark Tower stories all seven of them....The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the three, The Waste lands, Wizard and glass, Wolves of Calla, The song of Susannah and The Dark Tower....are great books but its volume VII aptly titled that summed up the futility that is our quest in singular goals that take no prisoners.

It's the what-if?

What if I become the singular thing I have channelled all my energy into becoming....then what?

Suddenly you are where you always wanted to be. You are here you have arrived. Is this all you wanted, all you expected it to be? Worth all you gave up on the way there?

The Gunslinger arrived the Dark Tower,  that he did, by then I didn't believe that whatever it was, was worth all he had gone through, all he had given up on, all he had lost but I wanted him to find it I cheered him on, prayed for him even because I felt if one wanted something so bad and put in so much he should get it, he deserved it, had earned the right to it. He reached his goal.

Yes he did......




You should read the books :-D

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Consciousness

I woke up with a start, something, someone, whatever it was had passed by me. My spirit, senses, had felt it coming before it passed that's what woke me because I didn't realise at first what woke me up. I looked around confused with my heart beating fast and saw nothing but I felt it when it passed. The right side of my body shrinked away as if avoiding contact and got covered in goose bums and for a second I felt complete and utter fear and revulsion. And then It passed.

I stood up, looked down at my right hand and leg, just one side of my body covered in goose bums and used the left hand to rub at them vigorously. My heartbeat was slowing down to a regular rhythm and the feeling of revulsion was slowly fading away. Something had passed by me and it wasn't something nice, my consciousness knew, even if I couldn't hear or see what it was I felt it.

I got me thinking about consciousness or the spirit in us, whatever you call it, the little voice. Many times we actually feel things just before they happen, its like an inbuilt radar warning us ahead of events. Very strong in some and just a floating cloud in others like me. There are times you suddenly turn to the door and know whoever is about to visit comes with no good intentions before there is even a knock on the door. Its that feeling you get that this is a good time to leave this party and later when you hear something bad went down there you remember the feeling you had that made you leave. Here is the 100Naira question.....why didn't others feel it?

But did they not? perhaps they didn't feel it strong enough to a ditch the party, perhaps their meters had run down.....I dont know. Most times I remember receiving a warning a while after an event or been pointed in a direction I didnt take that turned out to be the right one. Even in simply things like playing cards you get this feeling your opponent has an ace of hearts then you wave it away and later when he shows his cards there looking at you is that ace of hearts. Everyone of us has felt, feels this consciousness. It seems stronger when it warns us of dangers......I think.

Does this mean we are connected and part of our environment in a more umbilical way than we realise? Sometimes I have a feeling that our eyes are so sight happy that they have unconsciously deprived us of the strength of our other senses especially this particular strength, consciousness, the spirit sense if you please. The ability to be in tune with this radar whose warnings come in yellow lights instead of red most of the time. We can always find reason to push this warnings away because we have 'Freewill' man's greatest gift.



Something passed by me and my consciousness knew it would be better that i was awake while it did.

Monday, 14 October 2013

The Child Today

It might actually be fun to be a kid now i dont know, but something in me just can't agree to the concept that today's child is having fun. I mean yes most kids have playstation and cartoon network runs 25 hours a day beside boomerang and Disney and every adult fashion has a child version but come on!

Kids used to have fun with a water hose in the garden, an uncomplicated water gun, a tricycle or bicycle as you grew older down  the road discovering new paths falling off slopes and having your parents cry and scream and squeeze you in relieve that you were only bruised. TV had its hours every thing had a place and a time. No matter how young you were, breakfast, meals generally were at the dinning table and sunday was a day for having friends and family over or visiting them.

The Child was allowed to be a child, hanging outside with friends, playing football in the streets and jump ropes and your parents had a monopoly on your choices. 'I don't want to' was not a known phrase, you could keep a long suffering look or soulful pleading eyes and hope it earned you a change of mind and not a wack. 

Communities raised kids then. Your parents might not be in the immediate vicinity but you knew others were watching and would be quick to call you to order or tell on you. The child of that time knew he/she was a representative of his/her parents, each behaviour, act, reflected on your parents and showed their ability as fit parents so without thought even you walked the right path.

Was it so bad? Did we turn out so badly? Why have we decided that this new way is a better way of raising kids. Children have become terrorists to their parents saying no to everything sometimes just to spite their parents. Kids are disrespectful and you see parents looking helpless like they have being afflicted with a situation beyond their capabilites. I have watched 2 year olds decide its their way or no other and having their mothers almost in tears begging them. I don't feel sorry for them to be honest it annoys the crap out of me because I know even as an adult I would never pull such a stunt on my mother. Did you say they are just kids? yeah? and at what age do you think the respect button be reset?

(In Nigeria, we have a factory reset equipment called 'Koboko' resetting foolish kids to default settings since 1862....I think :-) )

A child can NEVER know what's good for him/her better than the parents. There will be some 70 years or more after you are grown for you to make decisions for yourself. Parents need to stop giving children so much choice and right, think about yourself for a minute, do you think the way your parents raised turned you out for the worse? Its good to be able to give your kids all you possibly can but there should be a line we recognise when too much isnt for the best. This bright new world is full of intelligent kids, smart kids but somehow the world isn't really full of children they are only miniature adults full of their own understanding of self which is above every one else's. Children, who are actually not children because they are already in an environment that allows them rights like adults, even their clothes are no longer happy colour spill splash, loose and comfy wears, they are just miniature versions of adult wear.

That's the child today in this brave new world.

From my perspective.





At the time of this writing I have no kids and kids don't even like me :-D