Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Friends For All :-)

City life can be busy, the hustle never ends. Everyone is super busy and the 1000 virtual friends you have, you never meet. So all your great friends from the university moved away to find jobs and get on with their livess like you did. You find yourself going to work and coming home Monday to Friday and the only time you go out is to go sit in semi lighted bars watching a match and having a beer. You might never find friends as cool as those you had but that is no reason to keep virtual friends. Alone is no life and loneliness is unhealthy.

Ok. Lets get to making friends already. This isn't about networking, attending the right social events so you can find people to advance your career.....thats just more work. This is about finding people you can visit, do stuff with, ask for help from or get to help and generally just relate to.

Places. Do you like football? if you do, a great place to meet people is at.....yeah right! most certainly not sports bar....the thousands of football pitches littered all over the place. You dont even have to play if you don't want to, just go watch on the weekends. Get noticed, cheer, help return balls to the pitch, soon enough you will be invited to join in a game (if you are interested). Don't hang around pitches where young boys with Premiership dreams play, pick the ones where the football is more of a social and keep-fit event. The big tummies you will see are a good pointer :-D. Other sports too, volley ball, basketball and tennis, you can meet people there, just choose a sport you like and are interested in. You are trying to find friends not material for a presentation.

Do you know how to dance? Who the hell cares. Go join a salsa class or any dancing class. Its fun, its a few hours you can spare and it will definitely get you in a good mood. Dancing always makes me happy even though i have two left feet. Dancing makes everyone happy so its great place to meet people....happy people. And you do be keeping in shape too but let that be secondary.....nobody likes a new job :-).

Colleagues. They are people too outside work. Get to know them more, accept those invitations to parties at their place invite them over when you can. Of course you have to work out which of your colleagues you should be getting better acquainted with. The work place can be such a cut throat place.

 Go for picnics. Get your family and find a park, lake or any other place good for a sit out. Kids playing around happily will attract other kids and eventually attract parents. Parents love to tell tales about their kids' abilities when they meet each other :-P get chatting, friends might last for a lifetime but friendship starts with a hello.

Events. Go and see what people are up to. Accept invitations no matter how random if you can spare the time, go spend it with people. Join events like Hash Harriers it does not have membership obligations to the best of my knowledge like attending meetings and such stuff, events are mostly once a month and fun or any other such events . Create an event and invite people. Could be sometime simple like....Come with a partner, lets play tag by the lake this Saturday, its the boys versus the girls.....invite everyone even random people you just met. People relax at such events and are more real.

Places you might think you will ignite friendship but hardly ever do:

Hair saloons - its just a gossip zone and the reason no one is talking about you now is because you are sitting right there. Everyone is too busy sizing up the others' hair, make up and clothes to think about friendship.

Bars - people you meet in the bar all the time become bar buddies never friends you look out for them when you are at the bar but forget about them completely when you are not there unless you are telling someone some sh.t stunt your bar buddy got up to.

School Reunions - If your actual friends are there you always hang on one end with them sizing up others. The main reason people go there is to see if so and so is doing any better

The Net - Virtual friends are a hard sell as real friends. Some of your virtual friends are real close, you tell each other everything, that doesn't translate to friendship in the real world. The mind never sees anything in a void, it will paint a picture of your virtual friends right down to attitude and when you eventually meet them......

Everyone should work, and hard even to make a living in today's world but real friends will be there long after retirement. Keep your friends by keeping in touch and make more friends every opportunity you get. Life is so much better with friends :-)

Monday, 28 October 2013

When Your Rights Infringe On My Right

There are so many rights these days....women rights, gay rights, religious rights, animal rights. Too many rights, in fact these rights are beginning to infringe on the greatest right of all - MY RIGHT!

It is my fundamental right not to be affected in any way by your rights. If that isn't in the constitution it ought to be added. When your right infringe on my right it can no longer be termed a right, that's just wrong.

The fact that you have to fight for a particular thing worldwide defeats the term right. Because even when you didn't have the opportunity to practice it openly it was still there. Making the public aware of a particular position does not make it a right it just gives lawyers jobs. I mean come on some guy in Canada cuts all the trees there to build up the city and now he is in Nigeria fighting for the right of trees to live happily ever after?

What all you fighters of women rights have not realised is that you are fighting the wrong person concerning women rights. If I catch any religious person fighting for women's right I might have to bring out some kung-fu tae-chi. If you are non religious but believe in nature you going to get a whooping too.

Biologically women are weaker than men in strength, in physical ability but women are mentally stronger than men you would think we would be developing that strength as we rule the world behind the scenes. If we are talking about women driving in Saudi Arabia or women getting to vote or getting jobs they qualify for I say YES but women joining the military under the same conditions as men? Being treated same as men? Come on that's one GI Jane movie too many. Where does the equality start and where does it take a break? when women go on maternity leave? Would you consider it fair if women played against men in a football match?

Men and woman are not the same short and simple, whether its an equality thing or just plain old difference. So when you fighters of rights go fighting remember I am also a woman and I would not like to be treated same as a man. I like having doors opened for me I like having certain privileges because I am female like soft talking my way out of a problem with that helpless 'what do I know' look (always works ;-) )

How does one talk about gay rights and stay on the safe patch? I don't know, I won't try. I am not gay I don't have any gays in my family or friends (to the best of knowledge) and the simplest of all is I don't understand why people should be gay. Don't kill me yet. It is my right to have an opinion I believe. Yeah 'Brokeback mountain' made me cry, but let me not digress and lose track. People have been gay since 'I don't know when' they kept it to themselves. The sexual preferences of two consenting adults should be their business, but don't assault my senses any further by trying to force me to accept your so called right. The crazed look gay men have should be all you need to tell you that ain't right!

What next? People who feel like doing animals telling us about their rights? By the way, people have been doing that too since 'i don't know when'. Before we know it paedophiles will hold a world wide conference and the next anthem will be 'don't hate us we were born this way' rights protest. They may even add a clause that 'as long as the affected kids are of registered paedophiles' then its fine and the next right and the next and the next. Where will it end? Gays holding us mere heterosexuals at gun point to make babies, so the world doesn't come to a quicker end than the end time predictions?

If religious people had their way women rights and gay rights will never be heard of even in idle talk. I don't know of any religion that does not condemn same sex relationships ( i will ignore the fact that they sometimes practice what they preach against) and see women as lesser mortals. Eve from Adams rib and 70 virgins promised to righteous men says it all. i would say religion and the religious have killed more humans than the two world wars and serial killers combined. 
The right to practice your religion is one thing but when in the practice of your religion my fundamental human rights are crushed that is no longer a right but a wrong. Your religion is not my religion and the world does not have a unitary religion so practice your religion without disrupting my right to peace.

Animal rights are one right I am yet to understand but like all things in today's world, it's a fast spreading fashion. Animals are beginning to have more rights than humans. First question why do dogs have more rights than chickens?
I love dogs. I come from an area where a dog is seen as closer to being human than any other animal and our family dog Shaggy is secure in his knowledge that he is practically family. However I respect the rights of those regions who eat dogs as long as they eat their dogs not mine.
I love chicken.....very much, especially 'spicy wings' and I will respect a person who says chickens have souls that is his belief as long as it does not affect my chicken eating rights.
I watched a documentary about ONE 'about to be extinct' tiger where SIX humans died trying to steal and trying to save it. At the end of the documentary the tiger was shown eating a large piece of some other animal (with no rights like the humans who got killed).
If dogs want to have rights in a complete region they should move to USA if cows want rights they should move to India, pigs should move to the middle east and chickens to mars. For those animals going extinct they had better start mating because an animal is still just an animal and we humans rule until Aliens get here and maybe even after that.

How about fighting for human rights. The right for all humans to be treated right, the right for human life to be the ultimate.  For everyone as one complete right. Wouldn't it be better than this sectional rights? that offend one side against the other? But then you have to wonder what people will bring out of their cupboards as rights to claim for their happiness in the 'accord'

The human right isn't complicated... it's the right to make sure no human is hurt, hungry, homeless or lonely.


 I cannot decide what right you choose to fight for but whatever right you choose, remember that if your right infringes on my right then your right is wrong. :-D

Snoring: HELP!

Why do people snore? I don't know and to be honest I don't care I just want them to STOP!!!!

Unless its 'Sleep Apnea', ......and before you go dancing and thinking you have found a good excuse for that racket that comes out of your throat know it that this is a serious and dangerous disorder that can lead to serious consequences. Sleap apnea is a condition where the sufferer's breathing lowers as he/she sleeps until it gets to a point where it stops for some seconds and causes the person to jerk out of sleep so as to restart breathing. It causes loud snoring as the person struggles to breath. This condition can lead to heart disease and stroke over time outside the tiredness in the day that comes with lack of restful sleep.

But I am no medical expert and this isn't a biology class about good reasons for snoring. Such people as described above should as a matter of urgency go see a doctor. It's the rest of you happy snorers I am talking to, who snore with reckless abandon while we poor mortals attempt to sleep. Stop telling us you don't know why you snore we don't know either and we don't want to know. We however want to know what and what you have done to try and stop it before we run mad and strangle you.

Here are three 'try this first' methods that might help reduce or even stop snoring

1. Everyone who snores should try this as a first line of cure, because its easy. Don't lie on your back. Like never. Make it a mortal sin. Always lie on your side. You can put a pillow behind you to support you and and stop you rolling unto your back while sleeping or you can hug a pillow ( with that soundtrack you probably have nothing else to hug). This will stop you from lying face up and opening up your throat for 'sound of music'. For some snorers this practically cures them.

2. Try losing weight. Ok some great snorers are as thin as rakes but if you check it more fat people than slim people snore. Think about it in this terms when you get fat you get extra tissue in your throat making it bigger but narrowing the inner pipe. Forcing air out of a narrower pipe is sure to cause a whistling. And losing weight is a win win situation so its a good option to look into.

3. It's late in the day, you have finished all the day's labour and are probably going to hang in front of the TV until bedtime. Why for goodness sake are you about to eat that mighty bowl of 'Fufu'?? Stop eating heavy meals 4-5 hours before bedtime, unless you do manual labour in your dreams where all that food will be put to use, STOP IT. Eating heavy meals will make you heavy and lazy and lax in sleep and prone to terrific snore volumes.

These aren't such hard things to try are they? before you decide to resign to fate and make your loved ones suffer a life of 'bedtime' hate. Always in a hurry to fall asleep before you and hoping they go deep enough not to hear you when you start with the music to wake the dead.

Doesn't hurt to try. Parents Wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, siblings and friends this is the time to help your snoring loved ones find a way out of snoring.

Remember if self cure remedies don't help it might be wise to seek professional help. Don't resign to fate and allow your loved ones and neighbours to continue to use your name in swear words every night.



Hope I hear a testimony to these methods soon :-D

Saturday, 26 October 2013

What's Your Phobia?

I never knew there were so many phobias, a complete dictionary of them even. Some of them are just plain comedy.

A Phobia is described as an irrational and excessive fear of an object or situation. 

I picked out a few.

ALEKTOROPHOBIA- the fear of chickens.
Wasn't able to find out if it was of whole fried chicken, just spicy wings, roasted chicken or just a quacking hen.

AMBULOPHOBIA - fear of walking.
Wonder if the ambul part of it means you would rather use an ambulance. 

ANDROPHOBIA - fear of men.
Who suffers from this phobia? lesbians or animals?

ARITHMOPHOBIA -fear of numbers.
This is a good way stop anyone from forcing math on you.

ARSONPHOBIA -fear of fire.
Sounds more like the fear of commiting the crime of arson to me.

AUROPHOBIA - the fear of gold.
Ehm.....who exactly suffers from this fear?

BALLISTOPHOBIA - fear of missiles or bullets.
Yep that's my phobia.

BIBLIOPHOBIA - fear of books.
Quite a number of people in this generation suffer terribly from this phobia. 

BROMIDROPHOBIA - fear of body smells.
Aha! I knew there was a good reason why I hate buses.

CACOPHOBIA - fear of ugliness. 
cacophony of laughter hahahaha hehehehe hohoho first, define ugliness then you can decide what this phobia is all about....is it of self or of others?

CATOPTROPHOBIA - fear of mirrors.
I know a few ladies that ought to be afflicted with this particular phobia.

CHROMETOPHOBIA - fear of money.
Most certainly not me :-D 

ECCLESIOPHOBIA - fear of church.
Not a witch's fault then that she can't go into a church.

HETEROPHOBIA - fear of opposite sex.
Spell GAY.

HYDROPHOBIA - fear of water.
Cool. Don't swim and if you must, drink pepsi.

ITHYPHALLOPHOBIA - fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.
Bwahahahahaha can't think of anything to say to that, its a classic. 

KYPHOPHOBIA - fear of stooping.
This is a phobia every king should have.

LACHANOPHOBIA - fear of vegetables. 
I will keep this handy for the next time someone tries to force vegetables on me.

LOGOPHOBIA - fear of words
Those that have it might never know, because you can't tell them or ask them to read this :-D 

MELOPHOBIA - fear of music. 
That's a wicked phobia.

NOMATOPHOBIA - fear of names.
Yours or others'?

OCTOPHOBIA - fear of figure 8.
How about two zeros sitting on each other? 

PHOBOPHOBIA - fear of phobias. 
Jackpot! 

SYNGENESOPHOBIA - fear of relatives.
Mean relatives in particular please take note.

VENUSTRAPHOBIA - fear of beautiful women.
This particular phobia made me decide not to be beautiful, I would really hate it if someone got irrationally afraid just because of my beauty :-D.


My greatest fear however is the fear of being forced to learn this $#%¿, I wonder what that particular fear is called?

Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Placebo Effect

The human body can be tricked into doing anything, even healing itself from a so called helpless case and sometimes with just drops of water. If the mind believes a certain medication will heal an ailment, you actually start feeling better the moment you take it. Even when it is too soon for it to have reacted with your body.

Today a 43 page despressing document sat waiting for me to read it, after leafing through it for 10 minutes I decided there was no need postponing what I would eventually be forced to do so I started reading it. I had decided I would read 20pages today and the rest tomorrow or maybe late at night today.

I had only gone through 4 boring pages when I started feeling sleepy, by the 7th page I had to keep back tracking because I couldn't tell what I was reading anymore. I got a bottle of cold water and sipped some then pushed the bottle around while I tried to read. Wasn't working. Next I got a lollipop, ceremoniously peeled its wrapper then squeezed it and tried a bull's eye on the waste basket. I missed thrice before I finally got it in and returned back to reading with the lollipop in my mouth. 2 pages later I was jerked out of sleep by a door closing somewhere.

Annoyed and staring at the offending document I chewed on my lollipop till it was all gone. Then I sipped some water and tried to read again the lollipop stick still in my month. After a while I started mimicking smoking with the stick and puffing out imaginary smoke, tapping on the side of my table like an ashtray. I had been doing this absent minded for maybe 5 pages before I noticed it. I didn't stop it though.  I wasn't feeling sleepy anymore and I could tell what this formerly annoying document was about and was enjoying it. I finished all 43 pages made a few notes before I stood up laughing at myself and the Human mind in general.

Do people fall asleep while smoking? I don't know, I don't smoke, I don't think so. But my mind or what I like to call Consciousness knew all I needed was a placebo to tell me why I wasn't actually feeling sleepy......too busy smoking to be sleepy but not so busy as to be unable to read. My mind told my body that and my body accepted it and stopped the sleep gears. Because in one way or the other i had related the importance of this document to my mind and immediately it went to work. Just like it tells the sick body to stop being sick and start healing itself. The sick person had somehow related to it the reason he/she needed to be well.....it could be because the person had taken this and that drug and it cures, of which the person is totally convinced or wearing the medalion of a saint and it heals all ailments of those who wear it. Whatever it is, the mind just needs to be sent to give the body the order.


The therapeutic action of a Placebo.



I hope Science is putting in more time studying the human mind than it is trying to find other beings :-D



The power of Mind over Matter is Magic.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Is That Actually What You Meant? Misused, Misspelt Words.

I was going through some writing I did and came across a misspelled word that resulted in a different word from what i had intended and gave the statement a meaning so different it was almost criminal.  It got me thinking of words we sometimes use interchangeably which are actually not, and how a 'C' instead of an 'S' changes a word completely to something else.

I bet most of us have been guilty of such at one time or the other, think you haven't? Take a look.

AFFECT - To influence or alter
EFFECT - The result or outcome of a cause
Usage
A 'C' grade in English will affect your overall grade and the effect could be a rejection of your scholarship application.

BORN - Given birth to, having started life
BORNE - Carried, supported
Usage
Mrs Simpson is wondering how her new born baby got a virus, the Nurse said it is air-borne.

BEEN - Were [always used after have, has and had]
BEING - To be[always used after is, was and were] (let's forget the noun part of this word for now.....we are all Beings :-) )
Usage
I have been in protective custody I just dont know who is being protected there

CANVAS - Type of coarse cloth
CANVASS - Solicitation of voters or public opinion
Usage
That canvas tent is a good position for him to canvass.

COMPLIMENT - Praise or express approval
COMPLEMENT - To add so as to improve
Usage
You should wear heels to complement your dress I am quite sure you will get many compliments at the party

DISCREET - Not drawing attention, respectful or privacy or secrecy
DISCRETE - Separate, distinct, individual
Usage
Having a discreet affair isn't easy but they managed to keep it discrete from the work place

ELICIT - Draw out a response or reaction
ILLICIT - Not approved by Law
Usage
His use of illicit drugs was known by all as the reason for his screaming bouts but he still managed to elicit anger in them

EMIGRATE - Leave your country to live in another
IMMIGRATE - Come into another country to live permanently
Usage
There are no jobs available here everyone wants to emigrate and because of the visa lottery scheme people immigrate easily to the US

ENVY - Want what someone else has
JEALOUSY - Worry someone is trying to take what you have
Usage
I envy your ability to compartment your feelings but it does not stop the jealousy I feel towards him

FLAIR - Talent for something
FLARE - Wider at one end, spread
Usage
She has a flair of public speaking and everyone loves her but I don't understand why she would want to flare tempers with that particular speech.

IMPLY - To suggest indirectly
INFER - Draw a reasoned conclusion
Usage
I did not imply her husband was dating Mrs Smith, I only told you what i saw, I really can't help what you infer from it

LOOSE - To unfasten, set free or loosen
LOSE - Cease to be in one's possession
Usage
Your keyring is quite loose, I would hate to see you lose your car key again

STOREY - Floor or level of a building
STORY - Tale or account (*US uses this as storey)
Usage
We saw that blonde actress standing at the balcony of that 10 storey building again today, I would prefer not to hear another suicide story.



Wow that wasn't as easy as I thought when I started out. Thank you Webster for all the help. Hope I didn't murder grammar along the way :-D


Still say you haven't?  Then Congrats, you sure do pay attention to English words.
Do you know any others? I bet there are, let me know.


Thanks for dropping by :-)

Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Blackie: A celebration of Life


I love cats and cats love me. They are quick to sense I am someone who can be meowed into handing over a bowl of warm milk and a sizeable piece of Sardine. Cats are smart animals, they can pick out soft people from a mile away. But this isn't about my cat. Both my cats died a while ago and after Ginger my last cat died a pretty horrific death I decided cats that pass through are much softer on the heart when they go. But this isnt about the death of my cat, this is about Blackie who passed away a few months ago.

Blackie was the queen of my family home. She belonged to no-one in particular she just walked into the family house and never left till she died 6 years and 37 kittens later. No one knew any of her male friends but before we got around to giving away one batch of kittens Blackie was pregnant again. By the time she died Zorro her grand daughter (pictured above) still felt free to hang around her and share in the little bites she brought for her current litter. She was that kind of a mother.

But she wasn't a nice cat that Blackie, even though she never hurt kids no matter how many times they picked her by her tummy or dragged her by her tail, she was however quick to scratch an erring adult and had a ready knock for the family dog Shaggy. She chose which room to sleep in and found a way to get into every room in the family house. First she would meow asking you to let her in if that didn't work she would try scratching the door then find another way....even through the ceiling.

Blackie was a crazy kitten making machine and had a quick to scratch 'no nonsense from you' attitude but she was a loved cat and she knew it. I remember she fell sick one time and the vet came to see her and she was injected, she cried for two days. That vet never laid eyes on her again she smelt him a distance away and was long off to hide before he walked into the house after that day.

We always had fun guessing which of the male cats around were possible fathers from the colour of the kittens. We never could tell for sure though. A piece of meat or fish left unattended belonged to her there was no arguement about that and she would rub your legs insistently until you handed over a bit of whatever you were eating or cooking. She knew how to put a meow to good use.

Blackie seemed to lose more and more of her fur with each batch of kittens and preferred to stay by herself more than around people in her last year unless she she was curled up in your lap getting a belly rub and ear scratching. She was a brown and black striped cat, more brown than black with green eyes. I guess she grew old, I guess her last batch of kittens was a little more than her body could bear.

Blackie died three months ago.

I like to think she lived a full and happy life. I believe she did.


Nobody in the family had any pictures of Blackie I could use here. But that is Zorro(the black and white cat) Blackie's granddaughter and her daughter(named Blackie too and looks completely alike) Blackie's Great Grand Daughter. Zorro's mother was actually among Blackie's 3rd batch of kittens. 


Monday, 21 October 2013

Vampirestat A curse on you

I started this blog over a week ago and was happily checking my page views every hour and wondering how it got popular so quick. I checked my stats and discovered I was getting more traffic from Alaska than my own country which seemed quite odd because I write pretty random stuff......can't even think of a niche right now that would target Alaska.

I also noticed 3 pageviews from Adsensestat and googled it, looked pretty legit and then i googled Vampirestat and almost broke down in tears.....my traffic was fake! Spent hours reading blogs on Vampirestat and no solution anywhere. Thank goodness I never clicked on the link, learnt that would have doubled their visits.

Someone said they hook up on twitter to your blog and I think this is true too I haven't posted any blog links on twitter in two days and there haven't been any spikes in my page views either. But twitter is such a useful tool......argghhhh



Oh but for a moment there I thought my blog was that good. Now I know I am just another mortal.


I sometimes write something worth reading do check it out.

askhetty.blogspot.com

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Coloured Skin and a Bottle

Someone asked me if I knew any good skin lightening creams and even though I was rolling on the floor laughing in my head I calmly told her that I knew quite a few and had tried several and there were three that really worked for me but the down side is that they were mighty expensive. She looked me over and still went ahead to ask the product names.

Anyone who knows me would know how hilarious this is. I am only a shade removed from Alek Wek if indeed I am. But it got me thinking......not of lightening my skin even though I can list a few disadvantages of being this dark..... it got me thinking about skin lightening and today's woman.

Every woman  at one time or the other has been displeased with the way weather elements have affected her skin. Be it dryness, roughness or tone (in either directions) and for Black women......is coloured women the politically correct term?....Everywhere you turn there is a sign, subtle as it may be that lighter is much better or the way to be. First it starts with reparing your skin, regaining your real skin  tone to actually toning it up and then bleaching and whitening.

I looked up the old and recent pictures of a few people. Oprah, Rihanna and Genevieve.

Oprah seems to have 'regained' her real skin tone, Genevieve seems to have 'toned' up while Rihanna seems to have 'whitened' up her skin. Its all in the 'what did you do'? Stop the elements from playing with your skin? like creams that contain sunblock or that reduce a condition that your skin has e.g. dryness or just a 'little' tone up to give you that chocolaty colour you always wanted(my face is now the same tone with my thighs....so I just regained my real tone)
or the hey if I put my back into it I can be as fair skinned as......whoever.

Men are also a very big factor in this industry. Dark women notice how men's eyes immediately seek out and notice the light skinned 'yellow pawpaw' women, once too many times and its off to the beauty shop to buy bottles of skin tone regaining creams, toning creams or bleaching and whitening creams.

My face and neck are darker than the rest of my body, I really should do something about it.



That my friends is how we get started. The sales people will do the rest.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Looking Sideways to the Unknown

I have always felt that if you look sideways at the right time and right angle you would see that which walks in the shadows, which walk in angles too thin for the normal line of sight to capture.

I believe absolutely that they are there and our lack of proof is actually a way of keeping us sane. A shake of the head and the consoling words 'what the hell is wrong with you....be logical' to help us un-see what we for one second saw or un-feel that eery feeling that came upon us. Even our memory is in on it, quickly it pushes such events to the furthest recesses to be forgotten sometimes forever.

I believe in things I see and those I don't.  Completely. I have suffered for years from something I came to realise not long ago had a name 'Sleep paralysis' (en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis) which is funny because I am never asleep when it happens. For those who haven't felt it I am sure you have heard others talk about it......the someone pressing you down feeling where you can't move and scream and are filled with mad panic.

Everyone that has experienced it talks about feeling a presence just before the actual pressing feeling starts and most can swear the cause of the pressing is a 'someone' feeling as opposed to a board or mjornil (Thor's hammer). I can swear to that too, sometimes I feel I even see the 'someone' shadow just before it starts and its at that angle, that sideways view that a full glance never catches.

I have tried to be logical, scientific even and kept diaries. When it happens.....

is it season dependent?  No.

Is it emotion dependent? To the best of my knowledge...No.

Does it occur more during 'lying down wanting to go to sleep' than 'awake about to stand up'? Yes.
Why? I don't know

Am I asleep when it happens? No

Are my eyes open when it happens? No/Yes
Huh? They are closed because I end up opening them when its over however even though my eyes are closed, I can still see, its just that this view is different from my normal eyeline view. I see in a 360 degree angle

I have tried to stop panicking, relax and find out why this is happening, try to think rationally.....never helped either to end the ordeal more quickly or to understand why.
So I wonder why different people with different belief systems from different parts of the world living different lives have experienced at least once this very same exact ordeal?


When we can't find things where they should be its a time to look sideways.

Friday, 18 October 2013

Football Fans' WAGs: To Love A Fanatic

Females have always asked me to explain football to them or just to know why the heck men are so crazy about football.  Some of my male friends have asked me to talk to their partners about football and getting to fall in love with it.

Funny thing is I don't know what got me hooked on football, one minute I was nose deep in a Romance novel and the next it was Football. But I do understand how annoying it is to be around someone who doesn't understand your passion for the game.

And I thought to myself Football WAGs (wives and girlfriends) must get coached on how to 'put up' with and even enjoy their partners' kind of careers but no one remembered to coach the Fans' WAGs. Not right I tell you.

So I am giving a few tips on how to allow your partner enjoy his 'Fanaticism' and still be the loving partner you  need.

1. Do you have a PVR? If YES then That's perfect! PVR your favourite programmes when they clash with match times. Because its just mean to make a football fan watch the Lifestyle channel while a live match is going on.

2. Sit with him, watch the match and try to get what its about. Don't ask stupid questions like 'why does that guy keep picking the ball with his hand' right after 'who is that guy that keeps running along the line' You might only be trying to learn the game or show interest but stupid questions during a life game are just annoying.

3. Women always want to know if a choice came between them and the game who their man would choose. I am a woman and I will tell you now football will always win that contest. The only reason a man will let you have your way is so he can avoid a year long whine and enjoy some peace. No man is daft they all recognise the strength of a woman. So whenever he gives up a game he really wanted to watch to do something with you, it might seem like you won the day but resentment is building up.

4. If you absolutely refuse to learn the game then no one can make you but here is a tip.....get the match times right. Nobody wants to go visit your sick aunty on Champions League night (that's mostly Tuesdays and Wednesdays in certain weeks on certain months) If your partner is an English Premier League fan I think it will be safe to make no plans that involve him between 12noon and 8pm on Saturdays you might have to add Sundays too on some weeks. If he is just a football fan like most people are, Saturday and Sunday arrangements should never be made without consulting him first. You could check out the fixtures a few days before and figure out which he could easily give up and ask only for such times.

For example asking a Chelsea fan to give up a Chelsea/Man United match is sheer wickedness but a West Ham/Sunderland match could be given up to attend your third cousin Leila's wedding.

5. You might get bored sitting there watching the match with him but that is no time to start telling stories or asking questions that will save no lives at that particular time, especially if his team is losing. I once heard a girl ask her boyfriend why he wasn't paying attention to her....' after all your stupid team is losing'. Yeah that can be classified as wickedness in high places and might lead to domestic violence.
Football is a passionate and very emotional game.

But Football isn't just a game, its a lifestyle, its an addiction and that's why it has got Fanatics!


Women spend loads of time thinking up the perfect gift, how about a customized club shirt or tickets to a match if you can....I bet you 1-20 it beats the s..t out of workshirts , ties and perfumes.


Will think up more tips and keep you posted :-D

Thursday, 17 October 2013

Weight Loss By Bicycle?



If you are looking for another magic weight loss story this is certainly not the place to be. I am just lamenting like most people about my weight gain.

About 4 years ago I started worrying about my weight, while worrying I put on an additional 10kg which might not seem like so much weight unless you begin to think about a 10kg bag of rice, or what 10kgs of frozen turkey piled up would look like.....yes just like that.

Now that we have gotten 10kg into perspective, I am actually 20kg more than  I want to be.....overweight is such a mean word....and let's forget all that height/weight indices for a moment, its a depressing tool. 

Gaining weight is easy for someone like me, a loner by nature, helplessly 'allergic' to exercise, a slave to sugar (my teeth are too full of holes to make anyone, even me a slave) and not prone to motion. 

In fact for people like me weight gain is a natural disaster.

But I am not going to write you a book of lamentations. I want to tell you about the bicycle that will get me on my way to that magical heaven that is 'weight loss'. Just riding a bicycle with the wind in my face and some music to make the world less gray. If I find any weight loss along the way You will be the first to know, but, if per chance I fall by the way side, at least I will still own a bicycle to remind me of my epic quest.

Still searching out a good bicycle, will keep you posted on when I do find one and get started and tell you of all the curves 'Laziness throws at me :-D 

Evolution and Food Pattern


I like to think civilisation started when man discovered he didn't have to be exposed to every weather condition unnecessarily  or eat the animals he killed raw with blood dripping and all. I can't remember if I read it somewhere but I have this notion that man learnt about salt after washing his kills in salt water and discovering his kills always tasted better when washed in that particular body of water.

So man got civilised and started roasting then cooking then deep frying his food.

Looking at this bento box where would you say evolution is right  now?

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Divas and the baby effect


I was reading some gossip :-D news on the guardian and came across this picture of Beyonce and Blue Ivy. Reminded me I haven't heard much from her recently on the music front.....forgive me if this isn't so, I play catch up all the time. But it got me thinking of Divas and the force that is a baby, big enough to slow down their flow.

It reminded me of Celine Dion when she had her first son the cute young man in black. It was as if the world that didn't involve that precious bundle was not of any importance, every other word was about her son. I watched her on the Oprah Show then and it was my son this, he this he that and some more of his doings. And slowly but surely she moved from the spotlight into the great new world that is motherhood.

For Beyonce, who singlehandedly invented the word 'Bootilicious', milllions and millions of records sold, awards won, continents toured, married to the self styled King, it took one little bundle, carried for months (best I know) to slow her down, to reflect. I see her protecting their little joy from the monster that is Us fans and the paparazzi. Pictures of her in the streets with a hood over her child in a protective hunch.

No woman, diva or plain everyday Jane can deny the love force that is a baby. The power to make you rearrange your priorities and goals, to rethink what is important in your life.



Well there is always a Superwoman called Angelina Jolie

On Singular Goals

I am a very big fan of the Author Stephen King. I think he is completely nutty in the head but I love the way he writes, what he sees in his head and how he communicates it to the reader (Constant Reader :-D)
His work I would like to see on the screen is 'The Dark Tower' books Volume I-VII. They are not as popular JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings or  JK Rowling's Harry Potter because they are not on screen. We are more of a watching generation these days than a reading one. Its funny because a movie can only do so much a good book is magic its a place where you are the reader and yet you are the story, where your heart beat is in tune with the story (without sound effects to direct you). Unless you read books you would never understand the difference.

For those who haven't read it, the entire books are about a gunslinger's quest to find the so called dark tower. Its about the journey, the people and others who aren't exactly human enough to be so called and his belief that no sacrifice is too big or too small to stop his quest or stand in his way. Its what happens when someone's whole focus, entire life and belief system is based only on one thing. There is no way such a life will not be lonely or full of very few friends, that handful sensitivity enough or 'choiceless but' to follow you.

The Dark Tower stories all seven of them....The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the three, The Waste lands, Wizard and glass, Wolves of Calla, The song of Susannah and The Dark Tower....are great books but its volume VII aptly titled that summed up the futility that is our quest in singular goals that take no prisoners.

It's the what-if?

What if I become the singular thing I have channelled all my energy into becoming....then what?

Suddenly you are where you always wanted to be. You are here you have arrived. Is this all you wanted, all you expected it to be? Worth all you gave up on the way there?

The Gunslinger arrived the Dark Tower,  that he did, by then I didn't believe that whatever it was, was worth all he had gone through, all he had given up on, all he had lost but I wanted him to find it I cheered him on, prayed for him even because I felt if one wanted something so bad and put in so much he should get it, he deserved it, had earned the right to it. He reached his goal.

Yes he did......




You should read the books :-D

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Consciousness

I woke up with a start, something, someone, whatever it was had passed by me. My spirit, senses, had felt it coming before it passed that's what woke me because I didn't realise at first what woke me up. I looked around confused with my heart beating fast and saw nothing but I felt it when it passed. The right side of my body shrinked away as if avoiding contact and got covered in goose bums and for a second I felt complete and utter fear and revulsion. And then It passed.

I stood up, looked down at my right hand and leg, just one side of my body covered in goose bums and used the left hand to rub at them vigorously. My heartbeat was slowing down to a regular rhythm and the feeling of revulsion was slowly fading away. Something had passed by me and it wasn't something nice, my consciousness knew, even if I couldn't hear or see what it was I felt it.

I got me thinking about consciousness or the spirit in us, whatever you call it, the little voice. Many times we actually feel things just before they happen, its like an inbuilt radar warning us ahead of events. Very strong in some and just a floating cloud in others like me. There are times you suddenly turn to the door and know whoever is about to visit comes with no good intentions before there is even a knock on the door. Its that feeling you get that this is a good time to leave this party and later when you hear something bad went down there you remember the feeling you had that made you leave. Here is the 100Naira question.....why didn't others feel it?

But did they not? perhaps they didn't feel it strong enough to a ditch the party, perhaps their meters had run down.....I dont know. Most times I remember receiving a warning a while after an event or been pointed in a direction I didnt take that turned out to be the right one. Even in simply things like playing cards you get this feeling your opponent has an ace of hearts then you wave it away and later when he shows his cards there looking at you is that ace of hearts. Everyone of us has felt, feels this consciousness. It seems stronger when it warns us of dangers......I think.

Does this mean we are connected and part of our environment in a more umbilical way than we realise? Sometimes I have a feeling that our eyes are so sight happy that they have unconsciously deprived us of the strength of our other senses especially this particular strength, consciousness, the spirit sense if you please. The ability to be in tune with this radar whose warnings come in yellow lights instead of red most of the time. We can always find reason to push this warnings away because we have 'Freewill' man's greatest gift.



Something passed by me and my consciousness knew it would be better that i was awake while it did.

Monday, 14 October 2013

The Child Today

It might actually be fun to be a kid now i dont know, but something in me just can't agree to the concept that today's child is having fun. I mean yes most kids have playstation and cartoon network runs 25 hours a day beside boomerang and Disney and every adult fashion has a child version but come on!

Kids used to have fun with a water hose in the garden, an uncomplicated water gun, a tricycle or bicycle as you grew older down  the road discovering new paths falling off slopes and having your parents cry and scream and squeeze you in relieve that you were only bruised. TV had its hours every thing had a place and a time. No matter how young you were, breakfast, meals generally were at the dinning table and sunday was a day for having friends and family over or visiting them.

The Child was allowed to be a child, hanging outside with friends, playing football in the streets and jump ropes and your parents had a monopoly on your choices. 'I don't want to' was not a known phrase, you could keep a long suffering look or soulful pleading eyes and hope it earned you a change of mind and not a wack. 

Communities raised kids then. Your parents might not be in the immediate vicinity but you knew others were watching and would be quick to call you to order or tell on you. The child of that time knew he/she was a representative of his/her parents, each behaviour, act, reflected on your parents and showed their ability as fit parents so without thought even you walked the right path.

Was it so bad? Did we turn out so badly? Why have we decided that this new way is a better way of raising kids. Children have become terrorists to their parents saying no to everything sometimes just to spite their parents. Kids are disrespectful and you see parents looking helpless like they have being afflicted with a situation beyond their capabilites. I have watched 2 year olds decide its their way or no other and having their mothers almost in tears begging them. I don't feel sorry for them to be honest it annoys the crap out of me because I know even as an adult I would never pull such a stunt on my mother. Did you say they are just kids? yeah? and at what age do you think the respect button be reset?

(In Nigeria, we have a factory reset equipment called 'Koboko' resetting foolish kids to default settings since 1862....I think :-) )

A child can NEVER know what's good for him/her better than the parents. There will be some 70 years or more after you are grown for you to make decisions for yourself. Parents need to stop giving children so much choice and right, think about yourself for a minute, do you think the way your parents raised turned you out for the worse? Its good to be able to give your kids all you possibly can but there should be a line we recognise when too much isnt for the best. This bright new world is full of intelligent kids, smart kids but somehow the world isn't really full of children they are only miniature adults full of their own understanding of self which is above every one else's. Children, who are actually not children because they are already in an environment that allows them rights like adults, even their clothes are no longer happy colour spill splash, loose and comfy wears, they are just miniature versions of adult wear.

That's the child today in this brave new world.

From my perspective.





At the time of this writing I have no kids and kids don't even like me :-D

Sunday, 13 October 2013

This is for them 30 somethings

Life hasn't turned out like anticipated, the way people were taught to expect it to, the 'normal' route. Yeah for many '30 somethings' time sure moved fast and left everyone behind or so it seems.

Things are so much different now than the used to be. The world has changed, economies have crashed, jobs have become scarce, the normal route has evaded half the population. Look around you, some of your friends, family members are jobless, or in godawful jobs, unmarried, divorced,  maybe even you and its the 30 something bracket.

Those who got to go further after secondary school (high school if you please) finished a tard later than the generation behind them and the jobs weren't readily available when they eventually did, so the 'normal' route took a wrong turn. Jobless men can't start families of their own unless grand aunty Lizzy left them an inheritance......do people still get inheritances? So they went looking for jobs, creating jobs themselves even.

Ladies waited for husbands after secondary school, then after higher educations, degrees and diplomas, masters even and time moved on and then they got jobs, learned trades, started businesses and all the while time never stopped. Time is a mean machine its passage makes you set in your ways, just like living by yourself gets you knowing exactly how you want your sofa to sit. 30 somethings aren't easy to mould, they are already almost too set to shift ground.

Look around, of failed marriages, them 30 somethings went and got married without a thought to the adjustments needed in mindsets and sadly failed to adapt to such drastic changes. A partner, someone who's views must be considered even in the choice of your meal, always with you, never a step without notifying. Its all over the world, don't think its just your corner of it. Them 30 somethings forgot to make adjustments for time gone when they get back on the 'normal route'.

But listen all you 30 somethings, the normal route isnt the only route its probably an expired route nowadays even, so get out there and be all you can. Take the life that is now and make the best of it. It might not be what you wanted but in the world we live today you can become all you want just take the first step. Life these days is how you push it, no government to throw you a line so stop sitting back and waiting because 50 something is just 20 something years away to take you half way there (as Beyonce says) so don't waste more time about what could have been.  Its a brave new world out there and step out and be all you can .

Happiness is a self inflicted emotion.

Dedicating Beyonce's 'Schoolin Life' to all you 30 somethings :-)

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Dozen 'Musts' on The Movie List

There are certain movies that going through this life time without watching can be considered criminal. Great scripts,  great interpretations and moments that stay with us long after we might have to slap our head to shake our brain gears into the motion of remembering what the complete movie was about. Some movies have great scenes that stand out with everyone who watches, while others do not have one glaring stand out scene so different people go away with different scenes. Some movies are great because of one scene, some because of one person's outstanding act but there are movies where each scene adds up to make it the classic it is. Whichever it is we know a great movie when we watch one and I dare to say this dozen falls right in :-)

1. Shawshank Redemption
 Just a thoroughly great movie. Here the lead actor Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) was the stand out person for me his facial expressions, body language, reaction to the situation he found himself in. I am a great fan of Stephen King (Author: Rita Wayworth and the Shawshank Redemption) I think this movie did great justice to the novella....plus :-)

2. Tombstone
 Doc Holliday(Val Kilmer) the drunk, gambling, sick but quickest gunslinger stood out for me even though the whole movie had splendid actors. Never even knew Billy Zane was that 'beautiful' :-D

3. Crash
 This is the 2004 movie. Looked like                  everyone was in the movie and gave              great account of themselves. The police          body pat down scene on Christine (Thandie  Newton) while her helpless and intimidated husband Cameron (Terence Howard) watched was shocking. It stayed with me for days.

4. Legends of the Fall
Another very well acted movie. Every scene every facial expression was right. Stand out person was the second born of three sons and the stirrer of all things trouble  Tristan (Brad Pitt). I felt great pity for Sussanah (Julia Ormond) who arrived as a bride for one brother, fell in love with another and ended up marrying another. Death was the only solution.

5. Last Samurai
Classic classic classic movie :-) Even though Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe ....think he is for everyone who has watched the movie:-D ) was my stand out act. The scene where the young emperor asked him as his old teacher to tell him what to do and he promptly fell on his knees head bowed and told the emperor he was the one who should tell  him what to do as he had all knowledge (not exactly the words...can't seem to remember them exactly to quote). At that moment i saw how sometimes leaders like the young Emperor can suffer under their assumed infallibility. Most people  who have watched this movie talk about the last scene where Algren (Tom Cruise) returns the sword of a fallen Katsumoto to the Emperor.
 
6. Saving Private Ryan
Another great movie (aren't they all :-p ). My stand out scene in the movie was when the platoon looking for private Ryan met the first Ryan I laughed my head off. Still fall off laughing when I watch it again. After the deaths and everything I think my mind enjoyed the comedy relief that was that clown because this movie is no comedy. I had the feeling that if that guy had turned out to be the Ryan they were looking for they would have kicked him in anger.

7. The Patriot
Still can't decide between this and Shawshank Redemption which I would put out as first if I was asked for my all time best.  Its a gory movie but its also a love story of a father's love and how it far out weighs patriotism. Mel Gibson as Benjamin Martin, war veteran,  widower and father of seven was all class.

8. No country for old men
This is a thinking movie. Some people never finish watching it but its actually a great movie. My stand out scene was when Anton ( Javier Bardem) asked the shop keeper to flick a coin for his life, the shop keeper wasn't sure what he was flicking the coin for but he had looked into  Anton's eyes and knew that the time for foolishness and stupid questions was over. Movie makes you stop and try to understand the concept of evil from a new perspective.

9. Troy
As a kid I read the Trojan horse story and loved it but this is no kid movie. Its superb acting. I loved Hector (Eric Bana) in this movie much more than Achilles(Brad Pitt), funny that my stand up scene is where Achilles kills Hector. That fight was just epic though.

10. Django Unchained
I really don't think this is such a great movie, good will do for it but then you must watch this movie because I can't remember someone taking a role to such dizzy heights of perfection as Dr Schult (Christoph Waltz) did. Stand out scene is when he waltzes into a town sends out a bartender to go get the Sheriff,  killes him when he arrives and askes that the Marshall to be called next. I really did not see how he was getting out of that jam with the whole town waiting to pounce on him even women with guns drawn and he did. Epic!

11. Man in the Iron Mask
Another great one. Leonardo Dicaprio( as King Louis and his brother Philippe) did this movie justice but who stood out for me was the former musketeer, King's guard, Queen's love and Respected friend D'Artagnan (Jeremy Irons)  not forgetting he was also King's father :-D

12. The Good the Bad and the Ugly
Do I really need to say this is a great movie? Excellent movie more like. When you have a movie where you have a good guy named Blondie (Client Eastwood), a bad guy named 'Angel eyes' (Lee Van Cleef) and an 'ugly' guy named Tuco (Eli Wallach) you know its a great Western :-)


There you have it, the dozen i feel fall in the big category that is 'great movies'. Is there a movie you think you falls right up there even before this ones? Let me know

Friday, 11 October 2013

Feeling Lonely and Depressed?

Go out and meet people is good advice but really? Meet who? Random strangers? Why do you think i am depressed in the first place?

Its not a life time feeling being depressed,  its just an odd off feeling. Tried playing a game or watching comedy till the feeling passes? 'Judge Judy' will cure you of crap fast 'cos that woman takes no slackers. How about 'Just For Gags' guaranteed to make you laugh no matter how poorly you are feeling. Spider Solitaire is good too but might not help much if you are no good at it...loosing depresses too. How about playing Zuma? works all the time for me, play till you save Mrs Zuma or get the burger and shakes.....kicking ass works wonders :-). Sometimes you get moody because you are bored, that's a good time to remember what you have being putting off and get cracking on it. Even if its just a list of clothes you wish you had. Might be courses you are thinking of taking, never saw anyone who was over-educated.

Feelings come and go but you can decide how long they last. Kick out the bad fast  but find a way to extend and share the good feelings who knows you might be sharing it with someone who at that time is feeling blue.

Happiness is contagious, infect someone today :-)

Thursday, 10 October 2013

Questions? On the oddest or simplest of things? Ask away

We live in an informative age but also a very busy age where time is in very short supply Sometimes you need information on the go. I am full of random knowledge and enjoy helping people find out stuff and solutions to their wee little problems.....big ones too :-) So if you need information, advice :-D and even a listening ear I am at your service ask me, ask Hetty.

Planning on Travel?

Here are a few tips to help you.

1. Plan ahead and save on tickets, accommodation and tours. Sign up with your most likely airlines to get alerts on cheap flights or discounts. Sign up with booking sites like booking.com, hotels.com etc and you will be alerted to promo prices and price slashes on great hotels

2. Buy travel gradually leading up to your travel date to eliminate the need of having to pile up cash first. Buy your hotel booking, then hotel then tours and sight seeing attractions ( most are cheaper online and long before commencement) then save up for essentials as your trip date gets near.

3. Always take out time to study the exchange rate between your money and the money of your travel country if different.  It gives you a precise idea of things  within your budget and those to be left alone no matter how tempting.

You don't need to pile up a fortune before seeing the world just plan ahead :-)